By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 12:46 - Switzerland - Chur

Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that'll kill my sex drive, just so she won't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 327
You deserved it 2 119

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Communication is key. I hope you have serious discussion with her. Your desires are just as valid as hers and don't let her tell you otherwise. As your wife she is in no position to defer you, she should be doing the very opposite and treating you with consideration. I hope things work out.

Wizardo 33

That's make you a libido and her a libidont.


Wizardo 33

That's make you a libido and her a libidont.

Communication is key. I hope you have serious discussion with her. Your desires are just as valid as hers and don't let her tell you otherwise. As your wife she is in no position to defer you, she should be doing the very opposite and treating you with consideration. I hope things work out.

His desires might be as valid as hers but the problem is that both people have to want to have sex. You always have to respect someone's decision to not want sex, regardless of how bad you want it. But yes you're right, communication is key. Hopefully they can work something out :)

YourOpinionSucks 22

If she's going as far as to want him to be on drugs so he doesn't want to have sex, then I think a compromise should be met. The wife gets no sex, just like how she wants, and OP can go find a girlfriend to have all the sex he wants. Problem solved.

His desire to have sex is just as valid as her desire to not. Not saying he should force it, but he has needs.

Start watching **** in front of her. 20 bucks says she'll want to make love again

or it'll piss her off and make her reduce her sexual output to once every 3 years

olpally 32

Only one way to find out^^^^ lol. **** that.

Yeah man! It will totally not make her think you think that she has bad sex. Nahhh.

What's wrong with you? Nobody has sex more than once a year. You must be a perv or a nympho. *sarcasm voice*

TabooSushi 24

Sounds like your wife is the one who needs meds, if her drive is that low.

If she's happy with a low sex drive it's unfair to expect her to take pills to rectify it. If she had a low sex drive and wanted a larger one fair enough, maybe consider medication. The difference is sex drive between OP and his wife is cause for concern however, and if it's not rectifiable it might turn out they're better apart

She may not have a low sex drive and the sex is just bad. If every time you had sex you got no pleasure how long will it be before you stop wanting sex with that partner? I don't know if that's what's going on with OP but when someone's SO only wants sex once a year it's a distinct possibility.

MikaykayUnicorn 36

Hate to play devil's advocate but maybe OP'S wife has a normal sex drive and OP has a very high sex drive and the "once a year" comment was an exaggeration.

Big_D_Real 12

but it's ok for her to expect OPS to take drugs to kill his sex drive. sounds very one sided.

I agree with 67, this is definitely one of those situations where there's a whole other side to the story and a lot we don't know. Op's once a year comment is most likely an exaggeration and there's so much more to this story. I'd love to hear the wife's side. With that said, I disagree that the wife shouldn't consider taking meds if she has a low sex drive. Sex is important in a healthy relationship and it's unfair to assume your husband will be happy with your marriage if you're not having any (or very little) sex. I know that if it were me and I was married and not wanting to have sex, I would definitely consider on going on meds to increase my libido because I know that sex is an important part of the relationship and to my husband and I would want to make him happy. Plus, if she wants to have sex more (and ends up having it more) than it could benefit her a lot as well. She may be a lot happier now that she wants to and is having more sex and it could make the marriage a lot happier and stronger. It would be a different story if she tried the meds and still hated having sex or being on the meds or something. But it's definitely worth trying in my opinion. If your marriage is starting to fail (and it will if one wants sex and never gets it) than I think it's up to the both of you to try and fix it and to try and please and make the other person happy.

Well, considering the fact that the medications typically used for "killing sex drive" are antipsychotics and you can't exactly just go to the doctor and ask to be on them... I have a feeling that OP is actually probably manic or bipolar and decided to go off his meds because they were preventing him from being able to get erections, a common side effect. However, when off his meds, he deals with mania issues which generates a serious compulsion to have sex and he probably is on her case about it a lot, among other issues that come with mania, such as aggression. I get a very nasty vibe from this FML, and would be willing to bet that she is asking him to go back on his psych meds, citing his libido as a mainstay because she is not ready to have a fight with an unmedicated manic man with aggression problems.

That is a staggering amount of assumptions, #101. Sure you don't have some underlying issues?

It's based on my professional experience and my education. We are getting a snippet of the conversation, and generally speaking, when these issues arise within relationships, it's most commonly associated with mania issues, which are most commonly found in bipolar and manic depression disorders. I suppose it's possible that the OP can have an elevated testosterone level but I have a feeling that they would not be firmly opposed to taking a low-dose anti-androgen therapy or discussing on with a physician. Being depicted as "the devil" for not taking the medication is one of the reasons why I think this is a psychiatric issue. It's certainly not a matter of me having some underlying psychiatric issue or condition. It's very common... We literally have case studies that read like this FML.

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She wants him to take medication that is mainly for killing his sex drive. That is it.

I think he meant meds specifically designed to reduce hus sex drive

I was thinking the same thing, I thought that maybe one of the side effects from the medication was a loss in sex drive.

Actually there are plenty. Go look up "anaphrodisiac".

28 there absolutely is. My husband will go on propecia due to male pattern baldness. That is one of the main side effects. Also most medicines involving bladder or prostate will do it too.

Why does this have so many downvotes? The way this FML is written sounds like it is leaving something out so you'll be on the writer's side.

#36 there're actually not very many (if any) prescription anaphrodisiacs. Most anaphrodisiacs are side effects of another medication. I've looked into getting some for myself. Other than 'suggested' herbal supplements, you won't find one. If you do, legitimately let me know.

Cyproterone springs to mind, but there are others as well. PS I was responding to the person who suggested there are NO drugs that affect libido, whether as a side effect or primary cause, and many drugs have libido depression as a side effect, as well as the dedicated drugs to address the issue.

51, I read it like that too. It sounds like the "once a year" comment is a huge exaggeration and like he's completely left out the wife's side of the story and any other important information just to make you agree with the writer. If op had told us the actual amount of sex they're having I'd be more inclined to agree with him. I would love to hear the wife's side of things. For all we know she's severely depressed or has an illness of some kind or is even on meds or something that is decreasing her sex drive. So much more to this story I bet.

I still contend that he is likely bipolar or manic depressive that presents sexual and aggressive mania, but decided to go off his psych meds due to them killing his ability to sustain erections. The FML sounds aggressive and irrational to me. I'd be willing to bet she asked him to go back on his medication and he is pissed, all of which is very common for these situations. I feel sorry for her, she's probably in a bad situation, but I highly doubt that she herself is struggling with a lower than normal sex drive. If she is restraining the sex life of the couple, I'd hazard a guess that it's because she knows that if she does give in to a mania sex spike, he will be after her constantly, because that's how mania rolls.

I still contend that this user (#101 and #102) has some underlying issues. Due to not just one, but atleast two paragraph comments, full of the assumption that this man is some sort of depressed psychotic nymphomaniac, and his wife is some sort of completely innocent and ideal housewife with no issues whatsoever.

you need to have a serious discussion with your wife about communication and how she needs to respect your values. I also hate taking medication as I feel I'm not the same and am just a shell of a person filled to the brim with medication. Don't get me wrong medicine is a very good thing and helps lots of people.

And at the same time he needs to respect her values as well.

Big_D_Real 12

so not having sex with your husband is now a value??? that's a load of bullsh*t. like someone else said, the compromise should be either divorce or OPS gets a girlfriend.

It's not fair to expect OP's wife to essentially be forced into sex to keep the marriage together either.

It's not fair to expect him to cater to her sex drive.

@82 how stupid are you exactly? Not having sex isn't divorce worthy, and if he gets a girl friend then he's cheating scum. Nevermind that what you're being pissy over wasn't even said. Think before you post.

If her libido is only making her want to have sex once a year then she is the one who needs pills.