So he stole your shit...Thats stinks

So your possessions were scooped while you pooped? Tough luck!

Prepare for an overload of "crappy" puns.

Rule #4: Beware of bathrooms.

let's hope they didn't steal the tp!!! (⊙o⊙)

Did the burglar scare the shit out of you?

#40 If that happens OP can just use a sock or rip her sleeve and use that.

Should of picked up your poo and thrown it at the person screaming CHOCOLATE!!!!!!

Hehe turd burglar.

shudda flung poo at them.

@40 - That's just nasty. Why would you even think that far into OP's bathroom experience??

Scoop your shit out of the toilet, and throw it at the burglar.

#5 ewww that's disgusting!

5, I dont think OP is a monkey...

Well OP has a monkey... Oh wait :( they took poor Carl too

Yeah, and the rest of his intestines went down the toilet when he saw the burglar.

This is why I'm never more than 5 to 10 steps from a gun in my home at all times.

95- if you tell me how many square feet there is in your house, I'll calculate how many guns you would need to have.

95: 'MURICA!

101, that would be 22, not including what is in the safe. Welcome to Texas

AWMIGAWD SAO is soooo beautiful!!! Sad there's only one episode left tho... (Sorry for off-topicness)

Sounds like a shitty position to be in...

No

That joke is pure shit.

*Bang* Fuck it.. *Bang* Gotta make sure they stay dead..

Rule number 2: Double tap.

Rule number 2: Double tap.

Double tap, not double post Dx

You're just double checking you posted! :D

How many keurigs did it weigh! (South park reference)

Hahaha omg 3 that was a good one

18, always double tap! Good call!

*Bang bangity bang* There's a button for that..

It weighed exactly 9.6 keurigs not a prize winner like Bono or some of these shitty puns

22) zombieland reference! Brilliant!

46 & 63 - it was Courics, as in Katie Couric; not Keurigs like the coffee maker :P

This was clever 12 years ago....

3 & 54 - On FMLs much?

You're so funny!!! said no one ever...

You're all party poopers.

Not when I'm naked. Giggitty

Original

Double tap

When did burglars lose all sense of theft-iquette?

There is no more peaceful time in life than taking a shit.

Pleo they just don't have respect anymore.

Back in my day, they'd knock and ask me if I was done yet, or how long I think I'd be if I wasn't. Then, they would politely nod when I walked out, and proceed to take all of my earthly belongings in the most pleasant and charming manner, before wishing me a good day and walking out the door. Once they even let me keep my wallet for being a good sport.

Well Pleo we all miss the good old days. *wipes away a tear*

No burgled is also correct

He could have just said got robbed then we wouldn't have to get technical

OP also lives in Europe; maybe that's what they say over there instead of robbed.

burgled implies a break-in, robbed does not. you can be robbed outside, but you can't be burgled outside

I was just about to say that, illiterate people these days...

Actually, burgled implies that you went into someone's house and stole things. Burglarized would be the correct word to use.

least number 96 knows what words mean and how to use them. i got burgled is not the correct use.

Honestly, I didn't understand this FML till I saw this comment...

Burgled also implies op just saw "The Hobbit"

Your home or vehicle can be burglarized, but only while you are not in them. YOU can be robbed. Also, you can be the victim of a home invasion if your house is burglarized and you are inside of it... technical, I know. I have been a cop for a a few years and have yet to hear the term "Burgled". Maybe other states or countries use different terms though?

Burgled is a much funnier word.

Burglarized by what? The toilet?

^ people.

42- are you being serious? ...

One would think the process was already underway, so you can't really give them the credit...

I believe 42 meant to post under 7 not 8

I think it's more appropriate to say OP lost their shit.

I hate when people put what they're referring to. Somewhat kills the joke, no? (Life reference)

Yeah but how many people on fml would have understood it then?

Well now, that simply can't be true, because it's never happened to me. ;D