By emchocolat - 16/12/2012 16:55 - Europe

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 574
You deserved it 3 262

emchocolat_fml tells us more.

Thanks for your comments and highly original puns ! Just to clear the language issue up: "I was burgled" is correct British English (as opposed to American English) and means "Somebody broke into my house and stole things that belonged to me". "Burglarized" is the American synonym. The site said I come from Europe - I do, but it's a big place. I come from England and I live in Mayotte, a French territory in the Indian Ocean.

Top comments

stevenJB 25

I hate when you can't take a shit in peace. You should have yelled to him to come back later when you were done.


stevenJB 25
boxbrandon11 20

So he stole your shit...Thats stinks

So your possessions were scooped while you pooped? Tough luck!

Prepare for an overload of "crappy" puns.

let's hope they didn't steal the tp!!! (⊙o⊙)

Did the burglar scare the shit out of you?

#40 If that happens OP can just use a sock or rip her sleeve and use that.


Should of picked up your poo and thrown it at the person screaming CHOCOLATE!!!!!!

OHai15 12

@40 - That's just nasty. Why would you even think that far into OP's bathroom experience??

Your safety seems to have been flushed down the toilet.

Scoop your shit out of the toilet, and throw it at the burglar.

Well OP has a monkey... Oh wait :( they took poor Carl too

Yeah, and the rest of his intestines went down the toilet when he saw the burglar.

This is why I'm never more than 5 to 10 steps from a gun in my home at all times.

95- if you tell me how many square feet there is in your house, I'll calculate how many guns you would need to have.

101, that would be 22, not including what is in the safe. Welcome to Texas

skittycat213 19

AWMIGAWD SAO is soooo beautiful!!! Sad there's only one episode left tho... (Sorry for off-topicness)

Sounds like a shitty position to be in...

Well, that's a shitty situation.

*Bang* **** it.. *Bang* Gotta make sure they stay dead..

You're just double checking you posted! :D

MichellinMan 20

How many keurigs did it weigh! (South park reference)

RvidxrKlvn 8

Hahaha omg 3 that was a good one

astralvagan 20

18, always double tap! Good call!

*Bang bangity bang* There's a button for that..

It weighed exactly 9.6 keurigs not a prize winner like Bono or some of these shitty puns

46 & 63 - it was Courics, as in Katie Couric; not Keurigs like the coffee maker :P

You're so funny!!! said no one ever...

I hate when you can't take a shit in peace. You should have yelled to him to come back later when you were done.

When did burglars lose all sense of theft-iquette?

There is no more peaceful time in life than taking a shit.

Pleo they just don't have respect anymore.

Back in my day, they'd knock and ask me if I was done yet, or how long I think I'd be if I wasn't. Then, they would politely nod when I walked out, and proceed to take all of my earthly belongings in the most pleasant and charming manner, before wishing me a good day and walking out the door. Once they even let me keep my wallet for being a good sport.

Well Pleo we all miss the good old days. *wipes away a tear*

ironheart98 14

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
citymayer 7
beautycrush495 10

He could have just said got robbed then we wouldn't have to get technical

NagainaFier 16

OP also lives in Europe; maybe that's what they say over there instead of robbed.

RedPillSucks 31

burgled implies a break-in, robbed does not. you can be robbed outside, but you can't be burgled outside

I was just about to say that, illiterate people these days...

Actually, burgled implies that you went into someone's house and stole things. Burglarized would be the correct word to use.

ironheart98 14

least number 96 knows what words mean and how to use them. i got burgled is not the correct use.

Honestly, I didn't understand this FML till I saw this comment...

Burgled also implies op just saw "The Hobbit"

Your home or vehicle can be burglarized, but only while you are not in them. YOU can be robbed. Also, you can be the victim of a home invasion if your house is burglarized and you are inside of it... technical, I know. I have been a cop for a a few years and have yet to hear the term "Burgled". Maybe other states or countries use different terms though?

watermelon1 35

Did they scare the shit out of you?

One would think the process was already underway, so you can't really give them the credit...

I believe 42 meant to post under 7 not 8

androiddestroya 7

I think it's more appropriate to say OP lost their shit.

And now you know what it means to be 'caught with your pants down' FYL OP

justspin 7

Ehh you could have flung poo at them. (Madagascar reference)

I hate when people put what they're referring to. Somewhat kills the joke, no? (Life reference)

justspin 7

Yeah but how many people on fml would have understood it then?

Well, I suppose it's better than jerkin off and getting robbed. But then again, you probably could have fling shit at the burglar to scare him off.

Well now, that simply can't be true, because it's never happened to me. ;D