Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
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Top comments
CrackhouseDoug 0
YDI for being so judgemental of a person's appearance.
TheNeckbeard 0
Right above the comment box: "Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful." OP should have followed FML's advice.
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Comments (204)
YDIbrah 0
You're joking, right? I'm an 100-pound girl and I spent all of high school beating the shit out of the wrestling and football teams.
kile88 2
holy shit man ANYONE could be an mma fighter Ed hardy or no Ed hardy so stfu. I'm a girl, I wear skinny jeans.. would you think I fight? no. don't open your mouth when you don't know shit
Hurt16 0
c this is y u don't make fun of ppl xpecially infront their face or within ear shot
bostonfan 0
this is just my opinion, but people who judge like that are much bigger jack-asses than the people who ordinarily get called douche-bags, and usually insecure
strawberryspacejam 11
Ufc sucks dick. Tna and wwe ftw
TysonBrown 0
GSP woot woot !
tygerarmy 35
You are a douche bag. You didn't deserve to get hit. I practice MMA and while I don't wear Afflicition or Ed Hardy if you and your friend made fun of me I'd have just talked shit back. People who judge people without knowing them or talk about strangers within earshot of said stranger are not smart. Not everyone who wears an MMA shirt is a douche, some are just MMA fans and other may just like the shirt.
candy29 10
UFC is awesome.... ED Hardy not so much..
myunicornbarfedo 0
ahahahahaha you deserved that one XD still sorry about your broken nose.
element115 0
when the guy looks like a douch, acts like a douch, but has the body of a MMA fighter. u don't say anything.