Miscellaneous: Today, my in-laws moved in. FML - FML

By Great - 09/04/2014 01:42 - United States - Katy

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 707

You deserved it 6 246

Dysfunctional

Missed opportunities

My little boy

By Britney - 24/10/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 440

You deserved it 2 341

By Anonymous - 29/07/2012 05:27 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 909

You deserved it 5 048

By moronicmoroccan - 22/01/2009 23:26 - Philippines

Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 474

You deserved it 2 558

By jessye1182 - 11/05/2012 23:16 - United States - Yaphank

Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 637

You deserved it 6 221

Dick

By Olivia23 - 08/07/2021 11:00

Spicy

Today, my husband threw an epic temper tantrum because I wouldn’t have sex with him. I recently suffered from a miscarriage and the thought of anything going on down there makes me uncomfortable. He eventually calmed down and said, "Fine, just don’t be surprised if I end up cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 175

By tiffany - 18/09/2012 18:24 - Canada

Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 279

You deserved it 2 897

By shinee - 15/08/2010 16:05 - Singapore

Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 313

You deserved it 3 611

By Shenza - 17/06/2012 12:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 787

You deserved it 3 008

By brizzle - 05/04/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 345

You deserved it 6 338

By Messiahman - 30/10/2011 01:31 - United States

Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 889

You deserved it 33 965

By Check Writer - 20/05/2013 23:07 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I was notified that the company did not give me a raise two months ago like I thought. The increase was a typo. Two months ago I wrote a thank you for the raise email to my boss. Now I get to write a check to the company to pay back my "raise." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 666

You deserved it 3 207

By patient_mom - 14/06/2015 01:27 - Australia - Surrey Hills

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 988

You deserved it 3 943

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169 097

You deserved it 10 978

By broke_kid - 03/01/2010 13:18 - United States

Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 088

You deserved it 14 968

By Anonymous - 20/01/2012 23:33 - France

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 799

You deserved it 5 437

By Nofriends - 09/07/2012 11:44 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 380

You deserved it 25 070

By brooke - 13/08/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 404

You deserved it 25 145

By Abendigo77 - 14/01/2013 04:49 - United States - Healdsburg

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 450

You deserved it 6 820

By Anonymous - 27/10/2014 16:44 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, it's my 20th birthday. I recently came home from college to visit my family, after my mother had a stroke a few weeks back. She ended up being the only person who remembered to get me anything. She also thinks it's still 2009. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 379

You deserved it 3 333

By Smile - 27/11/2008 04:21 - France

Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 445

You deserved it 31 278

Don't touch my stuff

By Anonymous - 08/07/2020 08:02

Today, I found out where all my favourite things have been disappearing to: the garbage bin, one item at a time, courtesy of my girlfriend, who it seems wants me in a suit reading the Financial Times on a Saturday, instead of my favourite Jedi dressing gown reading Game of Thrones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 996

You deserved it 604

By friendless - 03/12/2009 06:12 - Canada

Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 534

You deserved it 3 787

By mista hunna - 08/09/2016 05:31 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I found the dog I lost while I was dog sitting. It was with its new adoptive family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 424

You deserved it 1 556

By melmel - 05/05/2014 05:07 - United States - Cumming

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 679

You deserved it 4 536

By MarchingNightmare - 16/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Hendersonville

Today, I have had 4 nosebleeds. Four of them, full-on, almost passing out nosebleeds. It's only noon. I think I need to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 535

You deserved it 208

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:28

Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 900

You deserved it 17 299

Unhappy birthday

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 19:00 - Australia

Today, my cleaner wished me a happy birthday. My family and friends forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 186

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 01:31 - United States

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 964

You deserved it 30 510

By Anonymous - 11/02/2015 21:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my teacher announced that he'd be out for a week because he was going to Vegas. I happily said, "Woo hoo!" Then he finished his sentence by telling me it was because his dad had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 973

You deserved it 9 836

By Maggie - 18/03/2013 19:38 - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 546

You deserved it 3 489

Boozed up

By speechless - 13/07/2013 14:32 - United States - Mitchell

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 055

You deserved it 4 599

By Grandson - 07/11/2013 05:52 - United States - Ontario

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 301

You deserved it 4 583

By Anonymous - 17/06/2016 03:00

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 543

You deserved it 1 538

By lexibabe - 03/03/2009 00:36 - United States

Today, I was in the bank with my seven year old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 800

You deserved it 2 758

By Steve - 30/09/2011 10:18 - New Zealand

Today, I had a car accident. In the same place, at the same time, and with the same friend in the passenger seat as last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 411

You deserved it 11 719

By crunkdrunk - 31/05/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 576

You deserved it 57 171

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 18:06 - United States

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 132

You deserved it 2 601

By Anonymous - 04/12/2016 22:14

Today, my family held an intervention and told me I needed to lose weight. It probably would've had more impact if they hadn't done this over video chat while stuffing their faces at an all-you-can-eat buffet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 448

You deserved it 774

By betterpianist - 29/11/2016 21:04 - United States

Today, the girl I've liked for over a year, broke up with me after just 2 weeks of dating, all because I'm a better pianist then her. I've been playing since I was 8. She's been playing for 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 374

You deserved it 748

Odd

By StupidPets - 24/08/2016 03:09 - United States - Murrysville

Today, I saw my new pet fish completely missing the food at the bottom of his tank and sucking up the little rocks instead. My last dog died from eating rocks. I think I'm doomed to have insanely stupid pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 180

You deserved it 1 402

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 11:25

And your privacy moved out.

pwnman 33

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 11:22

Try to get along with them. It's hard, but no choice now:(

Comments

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 11:20

fyl /:

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 15:02

#1 didn't know the average airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow, so he was thrown into a ravine.

pwnman 33

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 11:22

Try to get along with them. It's hard, but no choice now:(

caver1 14

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 14:11

This is a short FML

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 14:41

Everybody else is saying their opinion on the FML, and I'm just sitting here like, "Where's number 1?!"

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 14:53

Oh my gosh your right where is #1?

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 15:36

you don't need a 5 page paper to understand the pain in those 5 words...

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 19:23

captain obvious strikes again (said as another captain obvious)

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 19:27

you're going to need a secret cabinet full of booze

OperationAxis 10

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Thursday 10 April 2014 4:09

I really like the simplicity of this FML...

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Thursday 10 April 2014 11:24

yes you have a choice, kick her out! Sure there could be extenuating circumstances, but that just means you let her in, but with a time limit!! No one should be living with parents once married unless they are super old &/or are truly incapable of taking care of themselves. Sorry OP I feel very bad for you but you do have a say on all this so I am on the fence. . . stand up for your home, family and self!!

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 5:02

me too. It was enough.. OP, we all understand.

Indianboy9321 25

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 11:23

I felt so much emotion from this one line! But hey, on the bright side, try to use this as a time to bond with them, not all in-laws are bad!

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 11:41

A lot of them are. It's the "I hate you because no one will ever be good enough for my baby anyway!" syndrome. Even if they are nice, having your in-laws moving in is the worst thing that can happen to a couple.

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 12:11

You have two plans: Grin and bear it. Or Kill them.

LostMy_Marbles 24

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 12:30

I agree, not all in-laws are bad. My in-laws are the most kind and caring people I have ever met and I have felt so welcomed into their family. That being said, some can be so nasty and horrible. Hopefully OP doesn't have complete monsters as theirs

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 13:02

Not all in-laws are bad, I happen to love mine, get along great with them. Still don't want them living with me.

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 14:04

Another reason they could not like you is the whole "living with the man who is sleeping with my little girl"

asnakelovinbabe 16

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 22:42

My parents and my husband's parents are all best friends since we met. Nobody even knocks on each other's doors. Our dad's are together every Sunday watching their damned car shows and our moms are always going out. I love my in-laws every bit as much as my own family! Not all in-laws are bad. However I assume since this is on FML maybe they aren't so great.

niallo 23

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 11:24

You never know, it may end up being a good thing. I doubt it, but stranger things have happened.

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 11:25

And your privacy moved out.

fuckyouropinion 4

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 14:02

Haha, good one!

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 19:38

This is one thing that could kill your sex life and your marriage. You have my sympathies, OP.

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 11:25

There goes that newlywed feeling!

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 11:25

Look on the bright side, at least you will have help paying the mortgage! He he

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 11:27

Why did you let them??

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 16:07

I guess this is thumbed down because there as an obvious negative connotation with letting the in-laws move in, but I am curious as to why they're moving in .

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 17:16

And this question is why i almost voted YDI on this FML. Because the bottom line is that if they had said no, then they wouldn't be moving in.

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 19:41

Maybe OP had no say in it. His wife could probably have just let them in while he was at work or ignored him when he said no.

TunaFireStarter 16

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 19:59

Or, you know, they could have been in a situation where they had no where else to go ...

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 11:31

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

AshaaFerreira 22

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 16:19

I'm sorry but what does getting married have to do with this post. Not everyone who gets married lives with their in laws....

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Thursday 10 April 2014 0:26

If he never got married then we wouldn't have in laws.

warsun 27

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Thursday 10 April 2014 1:10

That's the single most retarded reason for a YDI

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Friday 23 June 2017 17:53

That's a dumb reason to not get married. How does a dumbass know this? Congrats! You're dumber than a dumbass!!!!

thephoenix95_fml 9

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 11:35

Probably the shortest but the worst FML

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 13:03

One line that says it all.

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Wednesday 9 April 2014 13:37

Look up Gigli on this website. You'll be pleasantly surprised. :)

Rainbow_dumpster 27

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Thursday 10 April 2014 18:26

Search Michael Jackson, Gigli, and the one bringing the psychologist to tears.

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 47

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 26

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out on Facebook that my mom and step-dad have an open marriage. To make matters worse, my step-dad shamed me for not being more sex positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 137

Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 46