Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I knew micropenises existed, I just never expected I’d see one in person after spending weeks building my anticipation of losing my virginity, getting naked in front of him, then being presented with half a cocktail sausage. Even if we had sex I think I’d still be a virgin. FML
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
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Top comments
runamile 4
Well no use complaining about it...Next time upgrade to king size if it bothers you so much.
amerwin 3
How have u not seen/felt/tasted his tiny until this point? Have y'all even kissed yet? Its interesting that you would just skip straight to bumping uglies without first coming across his miniature **** at least once.
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Comments (181)
alwa7sh 2
He can also call it travel-size
Zebidee 9
But then he wouldn't know if he was coming or going...
raaachaelxstunna 0
YDI for not knowing the size before you said yes..
SpecialPages_net 0
haha... that sux some big major hairy juicy balls!
agm2010 0
old is he ,12?
KristinaKreme 0
A 12 year old would have a bigger penis ;P
ismael209 0
how old are you..12? a 12 year old would have bigger boobs than you
KristinaKreme 0
Excuse me but um sorry if I offended you with the "12 year old have a bigger penis," comment. you probably have the same problem :) And second, no need to be an ass. Maybe I am 12 or maybe I'm not. Doesn't mean you could backfire on someone you don't know, okay?
perdix 31
Did the come go inside you or did he just deposit his nougat on your lips? If it's the latter, you may still be a virgin . . . and a messy one at that.
MayaK_fml 0
I may be a 15-year-old virgin who doesn't know much about sex (or relationships, really), but it seems to me that his size shouldn't matter much. I mean, you guys can do other things together, right?
twizzlestickROFL 0
well that sucks!!! sorry!!!
ashisthebomb 0
one word *VIAGRA* lolol :)
rencegoh 0
you will be better off with a *****.
cowboyy_fml 0
I have an 8 inch with a diameter of an inch and three quarters. u can borrow it sometime. it will make u moan big time
manda_baby_rawr 4
you're fourteen... no sex toys for you... besides, who needs the toys when you can get the real thing whenever you want? ;)
Doortje 30
Does the Lord approve of that Tarzan of yours?
Sinkhole 26
89 - What amazes me is that you know its diameter. a. Did you cut it and measure the length of the line through the centre and touching two points on its edge? b. Did you calculate it with mathematical formulas? c. Did you mean 'circumference' instead of diameter? If it's the circumference you're talking about, then you definitely shouldn't be bragging about it.
cowboyy_fml 0
I used a ruler
Sinkhole 26
I know that's a simple procedure, I just found it odd that he tried to measure the diameter, it would be so much easier to measure the circumference. And, anyway, he said he used a ruler to measure it, so that can't be an accurate measurement.
Sinkhole 26
That was one of my options, I asked if he calculated it, but do you really think we would do that? I did forget to add the vernier calipers, that would certainly make it easier, but it's not like everyone has one of those.