Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I knew micropenises existed, I just never expected I’d see one in person after spending weeks building my anticipation of losing my virginity, getting naked in front of him, then being presented with half a cocktail sausage. Even if we had sex I think I’d still be a virgin. FML
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
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Top comments
runamile 4
Well no use complaining about it...Next time upgrade to king size if it bothers you so much.
amerwin 3
How have u not seen/felt/tasted his tiny until this point? Have y'all even kissed yet? Its interesting that you would just skip straight to bumping uglies without first coming across his miniature **** at least once.
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Comments (181)
ohcanaduh 0
its the size of those mini haloween chocolate bars that ladies give out'
underguarded 20
I lol'd so hard. your relationship is going to be shit if the sex isn't good.
15thPrestige 0
He's looking like a fool with his pants on the ground.
username5000 0
!!!!
utiguy916 0
tht sucks!
jeremyt8nc 6
if it's broke and blood gushes then you will know
BamBam1993 0
that really is sad..
agirlnamedlogan 5
That... is the most epic failure ever. If I were you, idk whether I'd laugh or cry.
nicd123 0
not cool!!.. Poor dude.. Maybe u're vajajay is just too dry to feel any sensation? Maybe it sucked cos of u?
babyshelton09 0
well I usually cut for dudes in this type of situation, you know bros before hoes, but I mean damn guy, if ur chick is FMLing about how small ur tool is and how horrible u are at using it, I'm thinkin u need to get some advice or guidance on how to knock it down cause by the look of things, her first sexual experience was a complete fail. way to go. and OP, no blood, ur cherry wasn't popped, ur still technically a virgin. an OBGYN wouldn't be able to tell u had sex, but I say ur not a virgin anymore. but it's ur choice on which u choose to publicate.
maronofhearts 19
Ummm i believe she already did "publicate" seeing as this is a public website and thousands of people know now and no shes not technically a virgin hymens dont always break or could be broken already so they no longer use that system anymore and i wouldnt quote me on this but isnt it possible not to have one or something like that.
brittanydunn23 0
lmao I feel you girl my first guy was fun sized too and I didn't even bleed the second guy I was with I did bleed so I think I was really a virgin till him haha