Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I knew micropenises existed, I just never expected I’d see one in person after spending weeks building my anticipation of losing my virginity, getting naked in front of him, then being presented with half a cocktail sausage. Even if we had sex I think I’d still be a virgin. FML
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
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Top comments
runamile 4
Well no use complaining about it...Next time upgrade to king size if it bothers you so much.
amerwin 3
How have u not seen/felt/tasted his tiny until this point? Have y'all even kissed yet? Its interesting that you would just skip straight to bumping uglies without first coming across his miniature **** at least once.
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Comments (181)
sparknutz 0
hey fun size can be hell at 80 mph!
Supra69 0
Lmfaooo this comment made my day.
Kaltol1994 3
Awesome comment
FYLDeep 26
Buy him a strapon?
tygerarmy 35
Oral, fun size then a strap on! F your boyfriends life for having a girl who complains about things he can't control. Now if he refuses to help you it'd be another story.
CoGhostRider 31
Yea but it sucks that she still can't use tampons because her hymen is still intact.
unidentified_sta 5
Really? You hardly got screwed over, if anything the guy ought to be posting. About how large is a "fun-sized candy bar", need to know so I can get a clearer picture.
l_ 19
they're like 2 to 4 inches... poor bastard
TheDrifter 24
The inch long Halloween ones I think.
jetaimehannah 6
U know the mini snickers? Or like, the mini butterfingers? Yea. That size.
GotParamore 2
harsh lol
amberrsmn 3
like your user:)
fthku 13
You're not a virgin. You are, however, a ***** and a bitch. Your boyfriend should slap you with his miniature schlong.
Mrs_Nevermind 0
Don't complain. At least your first time wasn't painful, due to the size of your boyfriend's penis.
rattusrattus 19
Yeah. My bf is a 100g chocolate bar to extend the metaphor. Could not sit down for a few days...
WagAttack 0
That actually makes sense. if it was too big, it could have ruined sex for her. Big dicks hurt.
TheDrifter 24
If you had problems sitting down afterwards then his aim was off. Congratulations on your open-mindedness though.
KingDingALing 9
I'm pretty sure that it's always supposed to hurt the first time for girls. Unless the guy you're having sex with has a tiny dick, then that's another story.
alexFYL 11
It's doubtful he even tore her hymen with his fun-sized penis anyway, so she could technically/biologically still be a virgin and it will still hurt when she has sex with someone who has a normal sized member. Also, it doesn't always hurt for all girls due to the varying types of hymens, and the pain threshold varies from girl to girl based on how bad the damage is to the hymen and how they handle pain.
zenti 2
Uh...no. It doesn't matter whether or not the hymen was busted during the act. If there was actual penetration, she is no longer a virgin.
Jasper8713 2
265 is right. Sex is the act of penetration. In fact, many women have detached hymens long before they ever lose their virginity.
sendboot2 4
Well to a doctor she is a virgin
thelastavailable 13
Um.. I think you need to look up the definition of 'virgin' before you claim you're 'technically' still one after having sex. Let's put it this way, banging a guy who is not very well endowed still counts, you moron.
Imreallytired 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
if her hymen didn't break because his penis wasn't long enough then technically she is still a virgin!!
untoward 0
Actually #42, you need to check your definition. Girls can break their hymens riding their bikes. Sometimes when a virgin does have sex, the hymen doesn't even break it stretches. So, a hymen doesn't determine virginity.
backdownbreh 0
aww is somebody having some personal experience with being fun sized?
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
thelastavailable go find a sense of humor and then come back to fml
mrniceguykt 0
I think she meant that as a joke lol
britbear0731 9
really? cause i broke mine with a ***** before ever actually having sex with a guy..... js.
DeathByMentality 0
Ever heard of a condition called... micro penis? It's real. Google it. XD
Doortje 30
Oh God, I did. "Micropenis is an unusually small penis. A common criterion is a dorsal (measured on top) erect penile length of at least 2.5 standard deviations smaller than the mean human penis size." The pictures..... :O My eyes.. :(
KingDingALing 9
Must....not....look.... ****! I looked. :(
Kua_Mei 0
My innocent adolescent eyes... I am forever scarred!
G15 0
You're not a virgin anymore...but maybe you should watch what you say, because if your boyfriend reads this fml, and realizes you wrote it. You guys will probably be through...Insulting a man's size (especially if he's insecure) is a horrible thing to do, it's like calling a woman a fat-ugly-flat-chested-****... It's just not something you say, even if it is true.
RedPillSucks 33
If someone's fat, ugly, and flat-chested, being a **** would seem like a major accomplishment. Fat, ugly, flat-chested girls need love too.
zolziski 11
Judging from the fact that he was openly calling his penis "fun-sized", I don't think he's too insecure about it. I'm just surprised that the OP and her boyfriend had never fooled around before and that the first time she saw/felt his penis was when they had sex. If they'd bothered to explore each other before going all the way, OP would have known what to expect and they could have found a way to make it not matter so much.
alexFYL 11
What you are is what you are. Unfortunately if his penis really is fun-sized, he can't help that. So it's good that he has accepted it. Calling him fun-sized or small is no longer an insult, merely the truth, as lng as you don't say it with the intent to harm. Calling a fat person fat is also not an insult... well not if you don't mean it that way. Calling someone fat is an adjective, a descriptor. If you are fat, you're fat. Period.
dt520 4
**** is a label, small penis is a small penis.
ifktonymo 0
I don't think being flat-chested is too much of an insult unless you're really insecure about your boobs, I wouldn't know from experience since I have a C cup but at times I wouldn't mind being flat chested either :/
juliaannw 11
hahaha oh godd break up!
SomePinkTape 0
see this is what America has come to. If the sex isn't good it's over.
GingerFro 0
damn strait!
spanelli 16
Same with those god damned Europeans...
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
somepinktape, sex was not only bad... it basically didn't take place.
alexFYL 11
If you're not happy with your sex life, why force yourself to stay in the relationship? In a serious relationship, sex is an important part, unless you are... basically asexual or cold. Humans, especially humans in love, are sexual beings. Bad sex for the next 60 years is a horrible punishment.