Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I knew micropenises existed, I just never expected I’d see one in person after spending weeks building my anticipation of losing my virginity, getting naked in front of him, then being presented with half a cocktail sausage. Even if we had sex I think I’d still be a virgin. FML
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
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Top comments
runamile 4
Well no use complaining about it...Next time upgrade to king size if it bothers you so much.
amerwin 3
How have u not seen/felt/tasted his tiny until this point? Have y'all even kissed yet? Its interesting that you would just skip straight to bumping uglies without first coming across his miniature **** at least once.
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Comments (181)
enoughgrace 4
seems like he just went from fun-sized to pun-sized.
XDBrittany1228 0
whatever floats ur boat...
littledudebj 0
Im in the same group as your boyfriend, "fun sized." My girlfriend actually started calling my member that a while back and one day decided to messure it. She then decided to share the info with her girlfriend. I found this out one night when I got home from work and her friend asked me if I was a grower or a shower. She laughed and said that she had never seen a penis smaller than 3 inches soft before. She had misunderstood my girlfriend and thought the messurement taken was my soft size. My girlfriend laughed and said, "that is his grown size." Her friend died laughing and now asks me how my 2.5 in turtle is doing everytime she sees me. FML
theluckygirl28 8
great storyy tell it again.. *sarcasm*
andacondakiwi 11
Great story, tell it again, go to a party, make a friend :P
RedPillSucks 33
@98 Why would a girl who's suppose to care about you share that kind of info with her friends? I hope you're not insecure about your size. If she's still with you, you must be doing something right. Not sure why you still want to be with her though. I guess you can always repeat the mantra "It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean"
noncomposmentis 6
I agree with RedPillSucks. I don't think your girlfriend would like it if you start sharing information about her genitalia with your friends, so why did she share such intimate details about you with other people? Even if you were just someone with whom she had a one-night-stand, it would still be utterly rude of her to do that.
rnett08 5
ya my gf does tht :/ i mean irdc cuz im about average but still
mlee126 0
Still counts, You just had sex And it felt so good. Gotta let him put his penis inside you. You just had sex, and you'll never go back to the not having sex ways of your past
Thedrugslikeme2 0
tell him his penis is small and undesirable and unless things change soon you're dumping him for a bigger penis.
Marts 0
What a dick... Pun intended.
pennies_lane 6
so......was it fun???
Foltzie 0
wow how old is he I'm 13 and 6 inches
brittann2011 0
dang girl that sucks. I didn't know anyone could be so small, maybe he'll have a growth spurt :)
mrszombie 0
awwww :( no girl likes a fun size! more of a king size! ;D
chaos212 10
I'm pretty sure your still technically an idiot. Your audacity to publicly humiliate your boyfriend clearly reflects on your maturity to the point that you shouldn't be having sex. I hope hes abusive.