By sex deprived - 16/06/2013 05:10 - United States

Spicy
Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 181
You deserved it 11 621

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Top comments

XxXCrissyXxX 12

Have you tried talking that out? A little direction never hurt.

Lost_Ghost 8

Toys are always an option.

Comments

Lost_Ghost 8

Toys are always an option.

My favorite is the dolphin tickler

Lost_Ghost 8

Do tell! Not versed on that one.

My favourite is the African elephant!!! Let's just say it is difficult to walk the next day......

My teddy bear read this and now feels violated.

Lost_Ghost 8

A violated Teddy Bear? Who ripped the stitching?

Lost ghost: I conversed with him and he would like to make known that he is not a pussy, but is less than thrilled at the thought of lost stitching. Also, he thinks bug bites are disgusting, especially when scratched. He's a jerk though, so I wouldn't worry too much about his feelings.

astralvagan 20

A dolphin tickler, if I'm not mistaken, is a vibrator with 2 spots to use at the same time.... Or so my ex-wife told me....

Off to find the mythical clitoris!

I had to ask Chef about the Clitoris

asnakelovinbabe 16

Or maybe working with the boyfriend and telling him what feels good... A lot of FML's about lack of pleasure could probably be solved if they would just talk to each other and communicate! I'm not sure why anyone thinks its normal or acceptable to have to endure sex that is no good and instead of working towards better sex, they just fake pleasure.

"The Accomodater"... Google that thing!

I did, it looks like a good time

groovycrazyjoe 18

time to bring ants to bed instead if I was the boy friend

XxXCrissyXxX 12

Have you tried talking that out? A little direction never hurt.

Wizardo 33

Exactly, tell him what feels good and turns you on, if you're one of the silent in bed types then no wonder my guy is a little lost, most girls probably like different things so SPEAK UP, you hear? Cos I don't...

You know rather than complain when he's not around you can tell him what you want.

Communication is key in relationships. Tell him how you feel

That must've been one heck of a bug bite to feel that good

Misswildsides 22

Mosquito possibly?

More like a fucking Night-Crawler with extra bitchy itch agent.

InfamousRaider 15

Well I was thinking what if it was irritating her in that "naughty" area

perdix 29

So, if your boyfriend had crabs, he'd be the perfect man. Usually, pubic lice are a turn-off, not tiny sex aids.

dinosxxrawr 22

he's probably a little lost. tell him how you like it!

punjabtimelord 18

Suggest having a threesome, then both of you will be satisfied ;)

perdix 29

#10, I'm not sure the boyfriend could handle crossing swords with a mosquito. The mosquitoes that bite are female, so it will be a nice, normal girl-guy-girl threesome, but it seems she's more stimulating with her sucking mouth parts than he is with his dick.

LOVELIVELAUG 4

if a relationship isnt making you happy it is ALWAYS OKAY TO LEAVE IT

mrdinofly 6

Breaking up because of unsatisfying sex? Okay.....

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

40--Um ya...thats actually the reason for some divorces.

generalasskicker 12

What shallow people

Talk to your boyfriend about what you like and then you won't have to post on fml that a bug bite sexually pleased you- win win!

I guess both issues are caused by a little prick.

That, sir, was splendid.