Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML
Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML
Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML
Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML
Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML
Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML
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Top comments
XxXCrissyXxX 12
Have you tried talking that out? A little direction never hurt.
Lost_Ghost 8
Toys are always an option.
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Comments (102)
Hellbound_Alleee 14
This is what you should do. Declare absolutely NO PIV (look it up) for one month. You can do all sorts of things. Explain to him what to do to get you off. Have him watch you get yourself off and try it. And then go listen to Dan Savage's radio show. Sheesh.
pattayarick 8
WHY is he still your bf?
SinfulEnd 20
How'd the damn bug reach your Clit?
stanjohnson 11
Sorry, YDI for staying with a guy that does not fulfill you for 2 years.
natheitz 23
Scratching does almost feel orgasmic sometimes!
amifaiyaz 12
talk to him?
judea95 16
You don't really have the right to complain if you're not doing anything about it. Talk to him? Toys? Hands? Mouths? Leave him if its that much of a problem.
soapmactavish82 8
Give me your number I can always fix that
Charlatan_fml 2
Reading these bitchy "My boyfriend doesn't satisfy me" ones doesn't elicit sympathy from me. Find someone else, you mindless scrag, instead of writing passive-aggressive shit on the internet.
cheesebond 29
Was it on your clitterous?