Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I'm on a camping trip, and despite the lovely weather, I'm wearing long clothing so the mosquitoes can’t sting me. Unfortunately, nobody seems to have told THEM that. FML
Today, I now have a plantar wart, chigger bites, and a brown recluse spider bite all in the same foot. FML
Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, as I was walking out of a park, I bent to examine a mosquito bite I had. As I looked up, I noticed a nearby couple staring and whispering in abject horror before calling their kids over to get bug-sprayed, pointing me out. Terrified, they immediately complied. It’s not even my worst bite. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
All mosquitoes who bite are female, so you basically got bitten by a lesbian vampire.
Inkoseh 33
Are you sure they're...mosquito bites? I mean, tick and bedbug bites are very similar. Could look bigger/smaller depending if you're allergic or not. Both are itchy!
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Comments (26)
Glowworm56 27
All mosquitoes who bite are female, so you basically got bitten by a lesbian vampire.
wmayrhofer 18
The mosquitoes must think you're ovulating.
Bubbilility 27
You should meet Wasp Junk, it might be the start of something beautiful.
blightsight 10
Did you spray your couch? If not, ydi
Inkoseh 33
Are you sure they're...mosquito bites? I mean, tick and bedbug bites are very similar. Could look bigger/smaller depending if you're allergic or not. Both are itchy!
https:person 4
rip😂😂
BlueSteele220 31
maybe you found your clit?
boopingsnoot 25
I doubt you’d recognize a ******** even with a labeled photograph
TheGOAT 2
Just be glad there wasn't a dead turtle down there.
Marta Perlicka 13
I would suggest that you get these checked out... it’s weird that despite all of the protection you still got bitten. I never had that happen before.
Rabite 28
It's called vulva.
cornyrob 33
You beat me to it. Good job.
Dannie1308 11
I'm guessing she didn't get bit in her birth canal aka the vulva....
Davros 12
lol, people are going to think your "double clicking your mouse" when you have to scratch that itch in public