Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently, her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me, because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother, who didn't bother telling her who I was, because he "wanted to see what she would do." FML
Today, my sister told me her ex-boyfriend abused her and I went to go confront him. Turns out, she lied because he dumped her after she cheated on him. I got my ass kicked. FML
Today, I tried to fight my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend because she told me he used to beat her. Turns out, she was lying to “impress” me, and her ex has a black belt in taekwondo. I’m in excruciating pain right now. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
Today, I tried to win back my ex by fighting her current boyfriend. He kicked my ass. Now I have a broken jaw and a court date. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
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Top comments
someguy945 0
That's nice, now call a lawyer and the police.
freedoggy77 0
ouch! your ex seems like the jealous type. oh and i know im gonna get killed, but 1st!
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Comments (216)
peter_man 0
that bitch.
Farnz 0
Wow, you're an arrogant little piece o' work, aren't you? What iif you happen to have an ex who had/has a brother in the UFC? I almost wish I could see you get your ass beat that hard just to see you (whether by choice or otherwise) shove not only your foot, but every other limb you have in your mouth. Sucks for original poster. And can't he sue AND get him in jail? I'd think that'd be pretty easy
hughman 0
No, I'd simply lose a fight that I didn't start. And that'd be the end of it.
p00p0ster0us 0
@#10 Apparently her brother is a 'real man' by that definition. His violent abuse was unfounded and unfair. Actual real men use their brains like evolved beings. We can console this dude and tell him he's better off without that crazy ass of an ex, and he should be glad he'll never be brother-in-law to someone as stupid as her brother. He got beat up which sucks badly but becoming violent himself won't fix things. He can move on and strive to be happy, content with the knowledge that he's smarter than that. A good woman appreciates intelligence. And all that physical energy is better off spent in bed.
dacman48 0
#17 you're a dumbass. alll men with balls still attached are going to beat the shit out of someone before peer mediation or some other shit
Monado 0
Behold dacman: The deevolved monkey.
Running_Dude 0
Press charges and get restraining orders
dacman48 0
three words. sue and date rape. all the revenge u'll ever need
Check_Mate 0
Because rape is the real answer, also that was four words. Rape isn't revenge, revenge would be calling the cops on an unprovoked attack.
NNNOM 1
#19: what the hell is your problem? rape? seriously? op: sucks. call/im your ex and either bitch her out, or embarrass her by making it seem like she's totally still into you, while you've moved on and stuff. psychological warfare always works better than violence. and it mark that lasts longer than a bruise.
steph_darling 0
how is date raping your ex going to erase the fact that her brother kicked your ass? date rape does NOT solve everything.
aaaaa12345_fml 0
calling the cops on someone isnt revenge, that's just plain pussying out. i would have stabbed his ass if he attacked me like that. right in the ******* neck
Hopcastyle 3
A) that was four words :-P B) did you learn nothing from sublime?!?!
UFCFIGHTER 0
Bet he can't be me
MrJentipede 2
FIGHT TWO DEMONS
oops_im_fucked 8
Trololololol
yaktazuki 0
No wonder you broke up!
MeganH0LLYW00D 0
Go over to her house and beat her ass. Put that bitch in her place.
Entity4Infinity 0
Talk to the ex and explain you are not dating any more so you are free to date who you like.
dinosaursgorawr 0
@#26 LMFAOooo nice. she deserves it anyways... she shouldn't leave her stupid brother to her business.