Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently, her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me, because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother, who didn't bother telling her who I was, because he "wanted to see what she would do." FML
Today, my sister told me her ex-boyfriend abused her and I went to go confront him. Turns out, she lied because he dumped her after she cheated on him. I got my ass kicked. FML
Today, I tried to fight my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend because she told me he used to beat her. Turns out, she was lying to “impress” me, and her ex has a black belt in taekwondo. I’m in excruciating pain right now. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
Today, I tried to win back my ex by fighting her current boyfriend. He kicked my ass. Now I have a broken jaw and a court date. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
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Top comments
someguy945 0
That's nice, now call a lawyer and the police.
freedoggy77 0
ouch! your ex seems like the jealous type. oh and i know im gonna get killed, but 1st!
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Comments (216)
EcGyMz 0
wow that's just freakin weird
b4mbi 0
*cough cough* She a bitch *cough cough*
sdbudsmoker 0
learn how to fight
odai123 0
This ticks me off. Martial arts are about self-defense, it's completely wrong to attack someone with that knowledge. Her brother should be brain washed into forgetting his martial arts knowledge. Jk, but that's seriously F-ed up.
StoneColdNigga 0
You got owned bitch
lpkamma 0
tell the cops, the fact that he does mixed martial arts will **** him over
kewlcat 0
hahahah! I can imagine being in the sisters position. my older brother does martial arts... and he did knock out my bf from 6 months ago.. ohhh shi-- too bad i dont live in alberta.
jwit82 0
that's assault, brotha.
odai123 0
Congrats. Your brother's a thug who doesn't deserve to know martial arts.
nightDREAMERms 6
This great for you, you know. Him being a martial artist. If you wanted to sue it wouldn't be just for Assault. When you have martial arts training up to a certain degree, you have to sign a contract saying that you will only use your physical force as a last defense. Otherwise you can be legally sued for not just Assault but Assault with a Deadly Weapon. (The Deadly Weapon being your body) And as cool as that may sound, it's also a very serious thing. My friend is a Kick-boxer, and she's only 16, however she had to sign that contract- which means although she has a Killer attitude, she cannot legally lay a hand on any of the students in our school, no matter what they say.
quadracer111 0
125th! Sue his ass