Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that the April Fool's Day prank my girlfriend...

By gullible - 12/04/2014 16:01 - United States

Today, I found out that the April Fool's Day prank my girlfriend and best friend played on me was not a joke, and that they actually did sleep together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 792

You deserved it 3 922

Miscellaneous

Dysfunctional

Broken heart

I can't quit you

This is fine

By TheywearintheDIRTYlaundrybasket! - 26/03/2019 22:00

Today, I walked into the house I share with my boyfriend and found his mum sashaying up and down the hall. When she saw me, she exclaimed, "Oh, you've got to tell me where you get your underwear from!" Yep, she was wearing my panties. Neither she nor her son could see why I would be upset by that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 909

You deserved it 174

By ohmaigawd - 14/09/2011 16:59 - Argentina

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 453

You deserved it 6 942

By not a brain cell in sight - 16/06/2013 20:20 - United States - Muskegon

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 214

You deserved it 4 273

By LA - 17/02/2009 01:31 - United States

Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 340

You deserved it 41 554

By hehe - 02/02/2011 23:57

Today, I went to shovel the massive amount of snow that was on our car. After spending time in the cold wind, I finally finished, realizing it wasn't my car. It was an identical car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 608

You deserved it 6 285

By Tim - 09/04/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over I walked around cleaning up the trash, when I saw a card sitting on the table with a note to my mom saying "better luck with this one." At the moment I am an only child, and the card was signed from my grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 559

You deserved it 4 222

By Boltz719 - 23/08/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 500

You deserved it 3 853

Hey, well, happy birthday anyway

By elmoisdead2131 - 09/02/2021 14:01

Today, my parents took me out to dinner. I thought they were taking me because it's my birthday. Turns out they are getting divorced. They forgot it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 69

By fionna_fiamma - 12/12/2015 13:33 - Slovenia - Maribor

Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 397

You deserved it 1 611

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 15:26 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 848

You deserved it 4 996

By Ugh - 22/08/2017 23:15

Today, I got a job offer and was asked to come in at 5am for training. I sat there for about 2 hours before giving up. I was at the wrong site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 174

You deserved it 2 834

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 04/10/2020 04:02 - United States - Holmdel

Today, I went to a going away party for a coworker. I had brought weed for the party and at one point a guy asked me if I have a Grindr. I replied, "No, I don't use those dating apps. I do have a Fetlife but that's it, if you want it." He apparently meant a weed grinder. Most awkward 3 hours ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 1 167

By bedrockmike - 28/01/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I broke, shoveled, and salted the ice covering my entire driveway. The size is roughly 8 cars' worth, and took me two hours of back-breaking effot to clear. I completely forgot that it was supposed to rain later today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 554

You deserved it 19 435

By meowmeow - 21/09/2010 04:38 - Australia

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 750

You deserved it 31 194

By Joey - 06/10/2012 05:57 - United States - Reno

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 817

You deserved it 2 348

By fianceeless - 21/01/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 551

You deserved it 3 908

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 23:01 - United States

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 854

You deserved it 3 023

By MrsRODixon - 05/03/2015 12:38 - United Kingdom - Pencoed

Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying". I get there and he's running around, playing and admits he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 757

You deserved it 2 813

By whyme - 12/04/2017 22:00

Today, I met a wonderful man and agreed to go on a date. Halfway through the date, he started telling about how much he hates his wife. And his four kids. I texted him after I walked out, saying not to call me again. He agreed. His wife didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 352

You deserved it 331

By RaYan - 13/10/2008 08:22

Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 417

You deserved it 75 090

By LZapped - 08/06/2015 13:35 - United States - Mundelein

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 235

You deserved it 5 296

By Emma - 01/08/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 042

You deserved it 3 453

By Anonymous - 03/03/2011 14:21 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 071

You deserved it 8 288

By forever alone - 12/05/2013 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 600

You deserved it 74 276

Communication tool

By Anonymous - 10/10/2012 21:48 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 181

You deserved it 6 158

By the-yao - 24/01/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 842

You deserved it 3 781

By bad boyfriend - 26/03/2010 01:50 - Canada

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 442

You deserved it 25 210

By 2dumb2drive - 12/02/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, I thought it would be fun to drive into a stack of some empty cardboard boxes on my street. They weren't empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 108

You deserved it 57 288

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 20:38 - United States

Today, I work as a cashier, and Iike always I asked the customer paying credit to sign the "sheet" of paper. I recieved a dirty look from one woman who apparently talked to the manager about me, saying I had asked her to sign the "shitty" paper. I have now been warned for "derogatory language." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 497

You deserved it 2 812

By supergingerr11 - 09/07/2011 05:55 - United States

Today, I was supposed to have a double date. My date didn't show. I spent my day in the living room waiting for the pizza guy while my best friend and her boyfriend made out. The pizza guy never showed either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 483

You deserved it 3 043

By she won't see a therapist - 23/04/2016 04:37 - United States - Omaha

Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 457

You deserved it 1 470

By Anonymous - 10/09/2014 03:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 534

You deserved it 14 037

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who I have been trying to get back together with, texted me. He asked me how life was going, he then asked me if I had the naked picture of him saved on my phone. I asked him why. He replied that he wanted to send it to his crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 086

You deserved it 4 650

By rmL - 13/10/2008 08:31

Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 912

You deserved it 41 477

By candy - 11/02/2016 12:24 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 093

You deserved it 3 954

By arw - 25/07/2012 06:10 - United States

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 821

You deserved it 1 986

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 20:27 - United States - Wales

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 047

You deserved it 24 179

By mel - 18/01/2013 23:18 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 945

You deserved it 3 111

By Anon - 12/01/2012 13:34 - Australia

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after 2 days of not showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 258

You deserved it 41 634

By JustAGiftCardPlease - 16/06/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, I received the box my parents sent me for my birthday. Contents were a travel first-aid kit, and a remote control robot toy, with an age recommendation on the box of 8. I'm 29. They thought that since I'm an engineer I would like the toy. They also think I'll hurt myself with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 978

You deserved it 3 807

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Top comments

Audem_fml 27

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:39

Sorry for you :/ No one deserves that.

MmmPinkTacos 11

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:41

Sounds like them being true friends was the real prank...

Audem_fml 27

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:39

Sorry for you :/ No one deserves that.

Shadowsofthedead 10

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:49

Sadly, the only people who deserve it are the people who perpetrate it.

IloveToLaugh143 21

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:52

That was a pretty crappy way of telling you. Sorry OP:(

JuliaaNoelle 26

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Saturday 12 April 2014 20:16

Apparently 180 people think that he deserved it

the_truth_lives 9

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Saturday 12 April 2014 21:56

#25 they could just be mis clicks, it happens.

flashback_fml 14

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Saturday 12 April 2014 22:08

527 now lmao

HersheySquirts 17

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Sunday 13 April 2014 4:53

Thanks for the status update #53. We would have never known.

chrisbreastr0kr 11

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:39

I think you should have a revenge lay.

SqueakyChipmunk 20

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:53

Are revenge Lays the same as regular Lays? A new flavor, perhaps?

thatguystack 10

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:55

Sleep with her best friend before you dump her. Then break up. Or her sister. Her sister works too.

chrisbreastr0kr 11

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Saturday 12 April 2014 20:00

Lays should make that a flavor. The Revenge Lays. It's a chip you eat when you go and get revenge on your cheating bf/gf.

traviscool 12

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Sunday 13 April 2014 11:47

I bet that is full of air..

booda44 7

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Monday 21 April 2014 2:32

#19 he should do both just for good measure

maggieisbatman 10

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:40

That's harsh OP. If it helps, my ex considered breaking up with me on April Fool's day like that. Ha, we're over. April Fool's? Nope.

silvercamaro 22

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Saturday 12 April 2014 20:19

April fools day a a very poor time to try and have serious conversations. Sorry to hear that #3

LusciousBaby23 11

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Saturday 12 April 2014 20:20

what does OP mean ?

OysterPearls 33

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Saturday 12 April 2014 20:30

I'll resist the urge to be sarcastic and tell you that OP means Original Poster. As in the one who wrote the FML.

falon142012 22

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Saturday 12 April 2014 20:40

30, I'm surprised you didn't say it stands for Oyster Pearls. I would've if my username was OP.

Austino_yo 11

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Saturday 12 April 2014 21:15

#27 OP means original poster for example.The person who posted the fml

LusciousBaby23 11

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Sunday 13 April 2014 4:55

thank you for not being sarcastic about it (:

Kat_Styles 15

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:40

You're better off without someone who would cheat on you, especially someone who cheats with one of your good friends.

onlychildFTW 33

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:45

The friend shouldn't have done it. He isn't much of a friend for sleeping with her.

OysterPearls 33

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Saturday 12 April 2014 20:32

Looks like it's time for some spring cleaning, and OP needs to take out the trash.

kayteakay 26

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Saturday 12 April 2014 20:50

Amen. Those two don't respect you, go out and meet some better friends!

Credibleskills 28

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Sunday 13 April 2014 0:00

This sums it up

MmmPinkTacos 11

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:41

Sounds like them being true friends was the real prank...

krupa1017 18

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:42

Wow that's kind of low. You don't deserve that. :/

tigerisabelle 31

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Sunday 13 April 2014 21:35

Kind of?

drumguy218 11

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:43

dump her NOW

SS99_fml 20

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:43

Break up with her and make sure she knows it's a joke either.

SS99_fml 20

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Saturday 12 April 2014 22:31

* not a joke...dammit

sourgirl101 28

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:44

If you keep both of them in your life after knowing what you do, then you truly are a fool.

iSativa 24

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Saturday 12 April 2014 19:46

The only option is to get even. Go have sex with the same guy she cheated on you with. (Sarcasm - for the kids who can't get a joke)

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 9

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 16

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1 976

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 190

This is fine

Hey, well, happy birthday anyway

Miscommunication

Communication tool

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