Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently, her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me, because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother, who didn't bother telling her who I was, because he "wanted to see what she would do." FML
Today, my sister told me her ex-boyfriend abused her and I went to go confront him. Turns out, she lied because he dumped her after she cheated on him. I got my ass kicked. FML
Today, I tried to fight my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend because she told me he used to beat her. Turns out, she was lying to “impress” me, and her ex has a black belt in taekwondo. I’m in excruciating pain right now. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
Today, I tried to win back my ex by fighting her current boyfriend. He kicked my ass. Now I have a broken jaw and a court date. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
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Top comments
someguy945 0
That's nice, now call a lawyer and the police.
freedoggy77 0
ouch! your ex seems like the jealous type. oh and i know im gonna get killed, but 1st!
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Comments (216)
fuckyourdogslife 0
YDI for making out with another girl so soon.
Monado 0
Bah, delete. The reply button has failed me.
shotcaller81 0
fight back u pussy suing is like gay get in the gym and work then kick hiss ass xD
mehwhateverr 0
Sue that bastard.
pwnage79 0
suing is for smart ppl and doin that is for ******* retarded jocks who are just morons and cant screw in a lightbulb. and no smart ppl do go to the gym and bulk up and crap. your just a ******* idiot
spacebeans 0
"your just a ******* idiot" Before calling someone out on their intelligence, you should make sure you use the correct form of "your." That being said, OP's life sucks, but should learn how to defend himself.
MattEatUalive09 0
Aright Mr. PissPants #82. Calm Down
SexyMcBeast 0
If you can't handle an MMA fighter then you must be paralyzed. They are such tools. Mixed Martial Arts fighters don't have a balanced fighting style and it sucks in the aspect of defense. Next time just scream in a feral manner and charge him with primal fury. I bet you he'll pit his shants when he realizes that not everybody hisses when they throw punches.
lnf9ohfour 0
SUE HIM.
MattEatUalive09 0
lol, you ever watch that show where grown up guys that were bullied in school can go on tv and look up their high school bullies? The tv crew then pays the bully to fight a Proffesional MMA fighter in a ring and its ****** hilarious. Usually the MMA fighter wins but every once in a while the bully beats the shit out of the fighter, i love it. Oh and i used to be that kid that would charge screaming bloody hell like i just got out of the insane asylum. Then i combined that with Mixed Martial Arts and then joined the Marine Corps. Deadly Combination
timothytandem 0
Or I bet he'd just jab the shit out of his face. people who just scream and flail open up their face and get destroyed. also, mixed martial arts is unbalanced? it's a combination of every type of martial art, it's more unbalanced to focus on one type of fighting style and when you're out of your comfort zone get killed.
sdr_fml 0
File a police report and press charges and he will be on FML next.
MattEatUalive09 0
Get a gun and shoot him, that'll show him BWAHHAHAHA
shirvon100 0
Whats up wit Dat!
NigNogIke 0
shoot him