Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently, her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me, because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother, who didn't bother telling her who I was, because he "wanted to see what she would do." FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML
Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML
Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
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Top comments
rachelfromtarget 14
idk why people think beating up the other man/women is an appropriate response to their partner cheating on them.
cakefete2 31
Your brother is a jerk. Maybe you and the guy who mistakenly beat you could teach him some manners.
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Comments (109)
cakefete2 31
Your brother is a jerk. Maybe you and the guy who mistakenly beat you could teach him some manners.
incoherentrmblr 22
I hope you're not twins. That could be a reason he thought you were him...
dubleduke 11
Agreed. Tell the man what happened then offer to help him
MaT30123 19
They're still family so no
TallMist 32
Just because they're family doesn't mean they're not jackasses.
cactusprick 19
Your bother is a dick for not owning up to what he did and for letting you get beat. Hope you get some kind of an apology OP.
False_Stupidity 42
His brother wasn't even there to be able to stop the guy, if he was so inclined.
Grenith 21
kick his ass, then kick his ass out.
Miss_Whipped 43
I agree. Let's play the telephone game, except with ass-whoopings instead of silly phrases.
Clayton87 13
I like the way you think
NotPatSajak 11
I'd beat the crap of my brother if he didnt ask if I was ok.
norpedo 16
Your brother sounds like a babe
150493x 29
And then you'd friend zone the nicer brother.
EatUrGreens 20
#77 It's called irony, Jesus Christ...
Ashd09 30
79. It's actually called sarcasm. Very poor sarcasm at that.
wildgenius 13
This wasn't funny.
150493x 29
My bad #79 that I didn't pick up on the sarcasm. I'll try harder next time.
norpedo 16
Guys relax, it really was just poor sarcasm lol
rayman173 2
Wow....peoole today are so shitty it's appalling
rayman173 2
people
_kyleG_ 34
Maybe you should demonstrate what happened on your oh-so-caring brother
ColonelCusswords 24
So a whole system of fuckups happened today
hard_candy 25
haha, that and this entire site.
kdm_km1 19
Well you can't really blame him for being Awesome...
apineapple 40
There is nothing awesome about sleeping with another guy's girl, let alone having someone else take a beating for something they didn't do.
hard_candy 25
#9, I don't even wanna know what kind of fools you idolize and look up to.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
you're 30 and still think that way.. you might need to re-evaluate your morals dude.
cutycat136 28
Maybe he was worried at first until her realized, oh shit. He did this to you and you weren't even the right guy. What the hell is this guy gonna do to me if he gets ahold of me?
cutycat136 28
Am realizing now that I made a mistake and never corrected it before my time ran out :/ so will do so now. He*