By grandson of a p.o.s. - 14/03/2013 22:04 - United States - Somers

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 148
You deserved it 2 972

Same thing different taste

Top comments

CammyGal 26

Yeah, because you had total control over how and when you were born, right?


I would shit on his grave for suggesting a vasectomy. Your grandfather was a sick bastard. (Sorry for the dirty language but there is no other way to express my feelings.)

It's not even his fault he was born out of wedlock! Why the **** is he getting put down?

BandWagonGuy 8

Do docbastard and noor still come to fml?

It's simple. They're judgmental idiots.

Why doesn't OP just take the money and then get a vasectomy at like 70 or something?

Why not just go to a sperm bank and donate a lot of sperm and if you ever want a kid go get some. It also gives you as many one night stands as you'd like without worrying about getting them pregnant.

oj101 33

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oj101 33

Oops. I skim read first half of the FML, now this sounds terribly insensitive. But sure, if you were ostracized, then don't try to change yourself for the sake of a relatively small amount. Learn to love yourself. You did nothing wrong OP :)

luckyd880 12

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Old unused 13

Without the apparently unimportant act of having children, humanity would have died off at the beginning. I'm pretty sure that people need kids.

then000bster 16

Ever heard of a sperm bank? Just put some for safe keeping and get it done. :)

Any leftover cash would not cover artificial insemination.

The world is so over populated, it wouldn't be a bad thing if the right people just stopped having children. At least for a while. When I read 3's comment, I thought it was being applied to this day and age, not the beginning of humanity...

#102- While that does sound logical in at least some frame of mind, there would be no ethical or objective way to determine who the "right" people would be.

Not me, either, #28. And, frankly, many kids don't need their parents. To exist, yes, but there are so many inept adults, that it's really not worth making a whole new human just to put a child through so much idiocy.

People who can parent. Just cause someone can become a parent means they can meet a child's emotional/psychological needs. So many adults don't realize that having a child means you're sacrificing your personal time and continue living as before.

FarFromSocial 9

I agree #128/#129 There are a lot of people who don't deserve kids and have them and some of the ones who will appreciate the full title of parenthood to the fullest and can't have them. the world is a cruel place. But that is neither here nor there in this FML we don't know what OPs view points on children are all we know is in order to get his money he must prevent himself from reproducing. Maybe the grandfather wanted to stop another child being born out of wedlock?

Terrible OP. It happens so much now a days that you think people would be more understanding. Some people will hold on to anything they can, just so they feel they are better than others.

X_Codes 11

On the bright side, I'm pretty sure the requirement to spend that money on a vasectomy cannot be enforced legally. Congrats on your $3,500, dude!

Most relative's wills have shitty conditions to get the money. If you really don't want a vasectomy, don't do it just for the money!

jisaac09 25

I don't know about about NY state but in KY you can accept the money with the conditions, after the money is yours they cannot take it away from you. It would only be your word/honor holding you to meet the conditions.

Don't knock it yet. A vasectomy can make a vas deferens in the way you feel about yourself.

R4inb0wBrit3 13

Don't worry, I think I see him cumming.

I guess I have to cum on cue now. Quite Franklin, I didn't have much more to add, but I guess you guys are ad-duct-ed to these pun run-offs

jisaac09 25

OP could always join the Nights Watch, even bastards can gain rank and honor in the Nights Watch.

CammyGal 26

Yeah, because you had total control over how and when you were born, right?

sugarshane007 20

Damnit that'll show him, not staying in the womb three years until his parents married!!

jett0001 13

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It never said he went through with the vasectomy and got the money.

jett0001 13

Hmm valid point, and I accept defeat. Plus looking back my pun about being "cut out" was crap.