Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, my aunts found grandpa's will, which left everything to me and nothing to them, and his lawyer confirmed on the phone this was definitely grandpa's wish. My entire family now hate me and think I manipulated him. My grandpa has hated me my entire life, so I think this is his way of punishing me. FML
Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML
Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML
Today, I was super excited to receive a large inheritance, maybe put it towards a house and a vacation. To my horror, the entire 40k went to my child support arrears. My psycho ex is the one who wanted those three kids, not me. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ColdplaySucks 18
Well **** that.
CammyGal 26
Yeah, because you had total control over how and when you were born, right?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (168)
BlitzPKF 10
Maybe the last part was just a joke
Sheh_fml 25
I'd like to point out that no, vasectomies are NOT reversible. Sometimes it is possible, but they are not considered to be reversible in general, so you really shouldn't rely on that being the case.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Even if it IS reversible, by the time you pay for both procedures, most of the money would be gone anyway. You weren't expecting anything, so just chalk it up to him being an asshat and move on with your life.
Llamacod 11
A portion? If you live in the United States of America you will have to use nearly all of it. Then you will have gotten a vasectomy to inherit about $127 dollars
ileenefudge 29
Your grandfather was an asshole and it was not your fault that you were born out of wedlock.
VasNormandy 14
Don't accept the money. $3500 will mean nothing when you decide to have children. The asshole's dead and he can't put you down anymore. Let the other family members fight over the money. You're worth more than a couple thousand bucks.
TheWorldGreatest 8
Don't do it,
Fervens 5
They won't perform the surgery unless you have at least one existing child. It also doesn't specify when you have to have it, I'm sure. It's also safer than a C-section, so stop complaining. It's also not castration, so you're fully functional. After a kid (or two if you're a masochist), totally worth it! Especially because kids don't come cheap and ruin everything. You won't want an accidental third child. The 3.5k is just a plus.
_W00H00_ 6
So don't take it.
vampire1618 5
Pay a shady doctor to make up some records claiming you got it, then if you later have children claim it was botched but are deciding not to sue since you shouldn't of gone to the cheapest one.
Llamacod 11
They are not guaranteed anyway so your lawsuit would just be a waste of money