By Chuffy - 01/12/2012 06:01 - United States - Loveland

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML
I agree, your life sucks 8 059
You deserved it 43 049

Same thing different taste


Yeah, I even heard they took the word gullible out the dictionary.

Shadowvoid 33

No, it's on page 483 of my dictionary. Haha, i have showed you, silly bastard.

strwbrymochi15 2

66- thanks for proving the point that people are gullible.

kristabelli 19

Uh... I'm pretty sure 66 was joking...

tristanisgay 7

OP didn't know ... I don't think they deserved this at all. Now time to **** your neighbor up!

Spottedfeather 7

Yeah, they DID deserve this. You spill sugary soda on the floor or counter...ants come around. Why would someone think that spraying sugary soda all over a tree would be anything different ?

You're not supposed to spray the tree, you're supposed to mix the sprite with the water the tree sits in. The sugar is supposed to feed the sap and keep it fresher longer.

100, the problem with that is that the fibers that go up can only handle water. The ones with sap generally flow down.

106, while you're right in saying that the water-carrying fibres only travel up (xylem), the sap-carrying fibres (phloem) work in both directions. So, I think 100's idea would work.

Wouldn't that have been messy to spray on your tree? Shaking up the bottle/can? Or did you put it in a trigger spray?

Does it really matter HOW she sprayed it? -_- The real FML is that her neighbor told her sprite was going to make her Christmas tree 'live longer,' and she was gullible enough to fall for it. Questioning about how it was done was unnecessary, detective.

#38 -- Actually, Sprite CAN help cut plants live longer -- but it needs to be mixed in with the water, not sprayed on the needles/leaves. (The Rose Bowl parade floats initially used 7-up as floral preservative, according to my horticulture teacher.) I don't know how effective it is for evergreens. I suspect that either the neighbor didn't understand the principle, or the OP didn't understand the neighbor.

Sweetpea22 14

Really? I was in horticulture and my teacher never told us that.

ByronJess 17

^Because not every teacher knows exactly the same stuff as another teacher.

#84, my teacher used to help out with the floats each year, so had first-hand knowledge of it -- you can find the info on a web search. (She also told us never to include really big fresh cattails in a floral design, because when they begin to dry out they can explode, which she learned by bad experience and will never forget.) Your teacher no doubt taught you things mine never did, too. 8)

Trix_Disorder 20

46/97 - I just spent 10 minutes watching "exploding cat tail" videos. Thanks. ;) You can dry them out for floral arrangements though, right? I swear I've seen them in arrangements before. Maybe they were similar plants.

#98, aren't those awesome? *grin* She apparently had all that fluff floating all over her living room, and was literally vacuumin the air itself trying to get rid of the stuff. She said the skinnier ones were safer to use. There may well be a way to treat the fat ones so they aren't an explosion risk, but she didn't go into that. (She may have been too gunshy to ever try doing so herself; she sounded pretty traumatized as she was warning us....)

Spray sugar on it - I heard that kills ants.

Hey look, it says "gullible" on the ceiling!

coolbrony12 3

Oh hey so it do- aww you stole my lungs.

The only thing that kills ants is fire, obviously. And gasoline it first, so the fire won't spread to anything else.

Desprite your best efforts, I c-ant see your tree living any longer this way. Colony old-fashioned, but I prefer not to use weird recipes soda-mn much. I hope sharing christmas with critters doesn't bug you too much. Just say you got your son an ant-farm for his present, you'll save some money. Thank me later.

This was thought out and inspriteful. Genius I say to you good sir!

Have to say this was one of the best comments I've ever read! I actually did LMAO! Please post more often....

23- pleonasm can't post more often. The site has anti-flood protection.

MK doth speak the truth! Don't worry dusty, I comment when I can, which is every few FMLs or so.

Seriously is there a way I can subscribe to your comments??? FML stalk!!! :)

sweetmama88 6

I this is the best FML I ever seen in a long time . Xx

Cover the ants in gasoline and light them on fire. It'll kill them.

78 - because there's no way that'll cause the tree to also light on fire or anything...

wolfshadow 4

113, the best comedy is taken seriously.

wolfshadow 4

113, the best comedy is taken seriously.


What if your neighbor suggested for you to go play in traffic because it'll refine your reflexes, would you? Lol I don't normally say this but you kind of deserved this one OP :/

the_smart_way 10

Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!

If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball.

Yeah, because you know what would really preserve plant matter? A chemical drink thats known to cause tooth decay. Seriously?

Yeah it actually helps, sugar and water and plus all the other stuff in sprite helps it. But you're mean't to soak the end of the plant/tree in it... Some one failed there Science exams. You tried .

Meant* their* With grammar nazis aplenty, how are people still stupid enough to fall for the ever-fateful there they're their mixup?

Exactly, #32. Floral preservatives provide sugar, an acidifier, and a bactericide (bacteria clogs plants' water-uptake plumbing and kills the plants). Citrusy sodas, or lemonade, mixed 1:1 with water work surprisingly well; the citric acid helps kill bacteria.

34, because some people might have learning disabilities, or just don't give a **** about people like you that don't have anything better to do than to correct ones grammar.

spread tons of salt over hes lawn in the midst of the night.