Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, my aunts found grandpa's will, which left everything to me and nothing to them, and his lawyer confirmed on the phone this was definitely grandpa's wish. My entire family now hate me and think I manipulated him. My grandpa has hated me my entire life, so I think this is his way of punishing me. FML
Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML
Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML
Today, I was super excited to receive a large inheritance, maybe put it towards a house and a vacation. To my horror, the entire 40k went to my child support arrears. My psycho ex is the one who wanted those three kids, not me. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML
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Top comments
ColdplaySucks 18
Well **** that.
CammyGal 26
Yeah, because you had total control over how and when you were born, right?
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Comments (168)
challan 19
Use some of it towards a snip job... After you have your kids.
32510forever 10
put that portion of it away until you have the number of kids you want. THEN get the procedure :)
hdempsey 2
Claim you got it and/or fake paperwork (or get a doc who will fake it for you), and then if you have kids claim you got it reversed. Save yourself the pain and money, don't give in to the crapola
Fervens 5
They might if they hear the whole story, and then claim that the procedure didn't take. It happens often enough. It's a snip of the tubes, not a castration.
FukeT_ 10
Freeze like a 1/4 gallon of sperm, get vasectomy, cash in.
garbagetrash 1
i find this absolutely hilarious from my stand point
JimSweatshirt 6
Shit at least you got something
JimSweatshirt 6
Money over sperm sonnnnn
whyusofat 17
Nice save
MakinMills 12
Hope you got some cash left over.
Old_Iron_Sides 6
Your grandfather sounds like a... Bastard...
lowshadows 21
lmao!! ha ha ha ha ha! never thought your grandfather had the last laugh.
Suaria 38
Have kids and when you are done get the surgery and then inherit the money. There problem solved!
djinnyf 12
Smart, and then u already have money for their studies!!!
limitedition 25
45: you are brilliant!!