Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, my aunts found grandpa's will, which left everything to me and nothing to them, and his lawyer confirmed on the phone this was definitely grandpa's wish. My entire family now hate me and think I manipulated him. My grandpa has hated me my entire life, so I think this is his way of punishing me. FML
Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML
Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML
Today, I was super excited to receive a large inheritance, maybe put it towards a house and a vacation. To my horror, the entire 40k went to my child support arrears. My psycho ex is the one who wanted those three kids, not me. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML
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Top comments
ColdplaySucks 18
Well **** that.
CammyGal 26
Yeah, because you had total control over how and when you were born, right?
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Comments (168)
cmb8280 24
That's so mean. That was never your fault, those people are disgusting for taking that out of you. **** them.
capnbzarr 43
Does it specifically say it has to pay for YOUR vasectomy, or just A vasectomy? If he didn't word it right, you can just donate a portion for somebody else's vasectomy. Find a family planning charity in some country where surgery is super cheap and send them a check.
Neyuu 18
Loophole found by satan himself.
afrothunder666 5
How about take the money and get a vasectomy like way the hell down the road when it doesn't matter?
noelasis94 18
Maybe he had a strange sense of humor, at least he didn't say for you to cut the whole shebang off. So if there's a bright side there it is.
Inked0803 12
That is so wrong on so many levels
ozpunker 20
How can they tell if you got the procedure? I'd just lie to them.
djinnyf 12
Make a doctor friend!!
Reality_bites 14
I'm wondering who gets the money if he refuses to get one - I mean if it reverts to his parents, then he can refuse, it goes to them and they give it to him. He ends up with the money and doesn't need to spend ANY of it on the vasectomy. That way he will end up with the full 3500 and not have to have an operation.
morella_xx 29
Grandpa probably wasn't on much better terms with OP's parents if he's making this big a deal about him being out-of-wedlock. I know I wouldn't have much to do with someone who ostracized my kid for something dumb like that.
brittyboo123 35
How nice lol
SirWTF 10
Don't do it, OP. The money isn't worth the physical and mental suffering you'll be putting yourself through. Whether you want to have kids or don't, that's YOUR choice and not anyone else to make. Also, your grandfather's family are idiots for thinking it's your fault and that you 'chose' to be born out of wedlock. Stay away from them.