Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, my aunts found grandpa's will, which left everything to me and nothing to them, and his lawyer confirmed on the phone this was definitely grandpa's wish. My entire family now hate me and think I manipulated him. My grandpa has hated me my entire life, so I think this is his way of punishing me. FML
Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML
Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML
Today, I was super excited to receive a large inheritance, maybe put it towards a house and a vacation. To my horror, the entire 40k went to my child support arrears. My psycho ex is the one who wanted those three kids, not me. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML
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Top comments
ColdplaySucks 18
Well **** that.
CammyGal 26
Yeah, because you had total control over how and when you were born, right?
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Comments (168)
Ishilied 11
Well, if it doesn't say WHEN or how large a portion, you could always agree, save a fiver, and get one when you're sixty.
havok87 11
Vasectomies are always reversible.
Ameel_fml 19
Not always. Only approximately 50% of reversals are successful. And that number is much lower if the reversal is done 10+ year after the vasectomy.
o_uhu_intrstng 4
well if it doesn't have a deadline then you can wait till your 50 and all set with kids. hahaha who gets the last laugh now, right?
itsjusyme 11
No deal!
ZombieSazza 34
I can see why you don't talk to that side of the family...
boryenko 2
Freeze some sperm, then you get the potential to still have kids when you desire and keep the money.
StaceeeP 23
if there wasn't a time limit for the vasectomy mentioned in the will then there shouldn't be a problem with you getting the money and having the snip after you've had kids
Ameel_fml 19
I could understand if the OP's grandfather was offering $350,000 or even $35,000 in his will, but $3500 doesn't really seem worth it. It might seem like a lot of money to you now, but in 5-10 years time will it be worth it? It would also suck if you got the vasectomy and there was a surgical error, and you ended up paying more than $3500 just to get the mistake fixed.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22
Wow, was your grand father related to the Westboro Baptist Church? What kind of hypocritical hateful morons ostracize someone for being born out of wedlock? First it's not a crime, secondly, it's not like it was your fault. OP, l think you're better off without being in contact with these mean people. Only assholes of the deepest level reject kids (although I assume you're an adult now) for this ridiculous reason (or any reason for that matter) and then consider them tainted to the point of asking they don't reproduce. These people need a high 5, with a chair, in the face.
Anubis_81 21
That is such bullshit. Screw the money.