Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, my aunts found grandpa's will, which left everything to me and nothing to them, and his lawyer confirmed on the phone this was definitely grandpa's wish. My entire family now hate me and think I manipulated him. My grandpa has hated me my entire life, so I think this is his way of punishing me. FML
Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML
Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML
Today, I was super excited to receive a large inheritance, maybe put it towards a house and a vacation. To my horror, the entire 40k went to my child support arrears. My psycho ex is the one who wanted those three kids, not me. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML
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Top comments
ColdplaySucks 18
Well **** that.
CammyGal 26
Yeah, because you had total control over how and when you were born, right?
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Comments (168)
ma2b 3
I would not take the money. $3500 is not worth affecting the rest of your life.
inumiko 12
Easy. Save up some sperm, freeze it. Time comes to have kids? No prob, you got your donation to the gene pool all saved up. Get the visectomy done, get money and save up on condoms! ;) Just a thought.
skyeyez9 24
Dont bother. And just cut that side of the family off completely. $3500 could buy what, a nice laptop and a dinner for two.....but after that, you're sterile for life. You're right, your grandpa is a piece of shit.
scr_sensei 14
Get a reversible one. Or just get one when you're like, 70. Was there a time constraint in the will?
lhamil64_fml 5
I don't know too much about how wills work. Does the OP literally have to get (and show proof of) a vasectomy to claim the money? if so, I wouldn't do it, especially since you didn't expect anything anyway.
MidnaLink 33
If he has to use a portion of it, then he gets it early.
jarockstar27 10
Its not like you could help that! Seriously thats screwed up.....
MidnaLink 33
If you're technically getting the money beforehand, then don't bother going with the vasectomy, just spend it all on yourself.
jmar411 12
You realize they can be reversed, right?
Ameel_fml 19
Only 50% of vasectomy reversals are successful. And it would cost OP about $3500 to get the vasectomy and then get it reversed anyway. And why would someone want to undergo a serious surgical procedure in order to get such a paltry amount of money anyway? I know it's not an overly dangerous procedure, but that's not to say complications can't happen...
123man 11
The joke would be the dead dude if you had already decided not to have kids. Then you would have no problem grabbing the money and getting the procedure. If you have health insurance they'll cover it (it saves them money because kids are EXPENSIVE for insurance companies) and so you can keep all the money.
radianceepica 9
You grandfather was an ass. On another thought, vasectomies are reversible, so if you want the money. You could do it and not have to use a condom or anything when having sex and then if you want kids later, just get it reversed.