Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, my aunts found grandpa's will, which left everything to me and nothing to them, and his lawyer confirmed on the phone this was definitely grandpa's wish. My entire family now hate me and think I manipulated him. My grandpa has hated me my entire life, so I think this is his way of punishing me. FML
Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML
Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML
Today, I was super excited to receive a large inheritance, maybe put it towards a house and a vacation. To my horror, the entire 40k went to my child support arrears. My psycho ex is the one who wanted those three kids, not me. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML
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Top comments
ColdplaySucks 18
Well **** that.
CammyGal 26
Yeah, because you had total control over how and when you were born, right?
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Comments (168)
kellyrose0322 13
That's ridiculous. The thought shouldn't have even crossed your mind. It's not even like $3500 is an insane amount of money. The joy of having children is priceless.
Squeaky_Tomato 14
If I were offered 3500 with the condition that I had to be "fixed" I would jump at it. Then again I don't want kids.
d4m4s74 12
It doesn't state when you have to get the vasectomy. Take the money and get it done when you decide not to have kids.
Omnomnymous 10
Well OP, he didn't say before or after so your dreams of having kids are safe for the time being..
blackcatbadluck 9
Ssome people just want a last laugh..Dead or alive.
allhailCaesar 1
Thats when you go to where he is buried and piss on his grave
skyeyez9 24
Spray paint a giant penis on his headstone.
charvisioku 22
What an arsehole. Old bastard probably just thought he was being hilarious.
To_Die_For 7
Sorry but I gotta say your grandfather has issues...
PhishloverA 14
Promise to use the money for that but cross your fingers, and then use it on something you want. For me I'd use it to help myself buy a car
jazzmancarron 11
challenge it in court
vladimirnabokov 15
I'd out that money away. Maybe like 10 years down the line after you might be married and already have kids, you might not wanna have any more and decide to go with a vasectomy. Then you've got the money on hand.
love_me_electric 20
That's actually really smart. If it doesn't say anywhere in the will the vasectomy has to be done within a certain period of time that is.