Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, my aunts found grandpa's will, which left everything to me and nothing to them, and his lawyer confirmed on the phone this was definitely grandpa's wish. My entire family now hate me and think I manipulated him. My grandpa has hated me my entire life, so I think this is his way of punishing me. FML
Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML
Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML
Today, I was super excited to receive a large inheritance, maybe put it towards a house and a vacation. To my horror, the entire 40k went to my child support arrears. My psycho ex is the one who wanted those three kids, not me. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML
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Top comments
ColdplaySucks 18
Well **** that.
CammyGal 26
Yeah, because you had total control over how and when you were born, right?
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Comments (168)
TheElBurrrito 21
He never said you couldn't get it reversed.
Uhscanherdarklee 10
ha I was thinking that but isn't it a pretty painful experience? Idk if it would be worth it to go through twice just for the small portion of left over money.
Lomus 24
Getting it reversed would take up all the remaining money, so it's really not worth it. OP, who gets the money if you don't do it? If you're willing to go through with it, do that just to spite them
DanielleinDC 33
They don't always work. But it never said you couldn't bank your sperm, get the vasectomy, and if you decide you want children, use the sperm. Or you could tell that side of the family where they can shove it and live your life without the $3,500 less the cost of a vasectomy (which some insurance plans cover, by the way) and the baggage that comes from being related by blood to a fistful of assholes. That said, what a rotten thing for your grandfather to do. It's not your fault you were born out of wedlock.
Kkkdawg 27
How dare you!! Shame on you for being born. Tsk tsk!
5t3ff1k4h 44
Was it mentioned to had to get it immediately? If not, sweet. Use it for the vasectomy on your time.
blink_kid 32
Like in 40 years.
Rababco 29
@144 Yeah, it's a good idea after someone's whose had all the kids they want. For example, if a middle-age couple who already have kids and don't plan on having more. This isn't generally a good idea though for younger people because they'll probably want kids later on.
TwinkleToesLOL 11
Well ya shouldn't of been bored on WedLook!
Cartera 10
Don't take that bullshit. He left that money for you, OP, **** the vasectomy. Use it like you want to use it.
Alexis2742 31
But he can't hav the money unless he gets the vasectomy..
Cartera 10
30 - My bad. Didn't see the word "binding".
Redlawnchair 9
A Vasectomy could cost anywhere from $300-$2000 dollars. Old coot barely gave you enough to cover it.
SpideyRules 9
My vasectomy cost $20 with Kaiser. That still leaves $3480...
sens3sfailing 24
The operation takes like 5 minutes, a shave, something to numb the area and a pair of surgical scissors. Why the hell would it cost that much?!
perdix 29
So, Gramps didn't die intestate, but he wants you to!
perdix 29
I guess not too many probate lawyers read FML. They'd find this joke ******* hilarious!
queerkat4 9
Intestate means without a will so even without children, OP could still die testate. Having kids has nothing to do with having a will. And really? Praising your own joke? You're such an arrogant attention *****.
Needafarm 22
I don't see the problem. Get the Vasectomy!!! After you and your whatever have a kid or two. Problem solved.
starw0lf 31
True, the OP didn't say the will said anything about not being able to have children and then having a vasectomy. The way I read it though lead me to believe it to be the other way. I like the way you think, and Goofy!
Fsvb 32
Or.. Freeze a whole shitload of sperm for later and then have a vasectomy! Although I believe you can't have it at a sperm bank longer than 10 years or so. So you cannot be slow in your decision on children. But it is also an option.
Geary519 20
well thats straight hes payin
Lilo4life 26
Not worth it.