By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Spicy
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 940
You deserved it 18 658

Same thing different taste

Comments

quimbi 3

Axe made A commercial about this, except the tv version had to show their armpits.

kbtoyz69 9

hahaha coming in for the suck then BLAM! all over her face LMfAO! very funny!

Jumping the gun will never get you a head start here.

MrLefty 8

Haha! I can just imagine the look on her face as you jizzed all over it! Next time try to think about unsexy things. Totally worth the effort, ******** are amazing.

The money shot is supposed to happen at the end.....

SenorJose89 4

Sucks that you didn't get the full experience. Would have been hilarious to see though, BLAM all over her face before she's ready haha

She must have had mad skills. That'd be my excuse. "Sorry baby, you were just too talented."

There was a FML post a while back where, from the view of a girl, a guy came before she took her pants off.

aus1095 4
scottybhoymad 0

Well.. The idea of getting one.. Made you so "happy" .. Now think about how it gonna feel to get a real one! Good luck next time

That's happens sometimes, but the more experience you get the less often that will happen.

I've literally never had that happen in my life. Or wet dreams. And I'm 21. I never understood how someone could cum without having had anything touch them. Have lots of sex and you probably won't suck so bad. Just saying.

You don't want her to get the easy one... Make her work for it.

22cute 17

I'd say your life sucks - but clearly it doesn't quite yet.

Eh 14 if it's your first time and you're really anxious and excited it's totally understandable. OP you'll be getting a lot more chances. Don't worry about it.

"Eh 14 if it's your first time and you're really anxious and excited it's totally understandable." Yeah, but it still doesn't happen to everyone (I think that's 14's point). The first ******** I gave to my boyfriend lasted more than an hour, so now I'm wondering, what's the less enjoyable for both partners...

Schizomaniac 24

42, were you wearing that gas mask or something? An hour, wow o.O

I can't get enough? Good heaven, do you know how numb my mouth and how devastated my body felt afterwards? *bad memories*

slushpup9696 12

As a guy, I'd be bored after an hour, so I have no idea how you managed to keep that up.

sinking_fish 12

105- ...no idea how you did that for an hour. 20 minutes, okay. 30 minutes, ehhhh. An hour? My husband would be so incredibly bored, not to mention my mouth probablyyyy would hate me forever.

107, i just love how everyone always quotes something from southpark

JayJ17 7

That's probably average time in Belguim. Lol

The first time is usually the shortest.. Try again.

Well, I hope that that is the shortest...

Yeah, it jus takes a couple of times. I'm sure you'll get better dude, everyone does lol

redredblood1 7

First time's the shortest??? I lasted an hour-and-a-half, holy crap XD

It happens. Don't worry. Next time you will last twice as long!

gandhislayer 6

Um...twice the length of nothing is still nothing. But we get what ur sayin. OP next time just relax. Hell thats the whole appeal of a bj over sex is the relaxation.

So soon as her lips touch is twice as long still not to much of a bj

It's still longer than Justin bieber lasted!

krnpanda 2

Trick comment 176, because Bieber is a girl

But 0*2=0, so twice as long is still nothing