Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Snowball
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML
Nasty
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
First!
Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML
Self harm
Today, I managed to give myself a blowjob and it was great. The only problem is that I got stuck between the wall and my bed while I was doing it. I had to call for help and my whole family came to see what was wrong. They all knew what I was doing. FML
Benefits
Today, after years of no sex, a friend of mine told me she would like some benefits. I got too excited and came before even putting it in. FML
The pleasure, the pain
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Top comments
fmessiah 19
Wipe up, and start again.
C19_fml 9
Well, better luck next time haha!
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Comments (263)
alaskababy907 11
I understand that it was your first one, so I'm not gonna judge. But every time I gave my ex a bj – who, btw, is very experienced – came as soon as I put him in my mouth :/ definitely not enjoyable.
ninjacapo 2
Which is why hes ur ex
alaskababy907 11
Exactly.
youshitme 9
Loser.
anthonydude 9
How does that happen?
cjhilde 1
A ******* is when a girl sucks a guys dick...happens to guys who dont look like a fat 6th grader
jrock87 0
blow up dolls don't count bro
toolmetal92 6
My condolences....
sk8er1039 0
Nice
Leftoverjello 6
That's rough dude but it happens. Chin up and all that.
Ciara4757 16
awwww poor guy.... at least u have somebody willing to give u a *******
Bofferding_fml 6
Awww, headshot cumshot!
ellakacyme22 6
so what is it you saw her **** and you went pop, there's always a next time