By karma - 28/01/2009 18:36 - Canada

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 170
You deserved it 7 474

Same thing different taste

Top comments

OEsEben 0

as a guy i'll admit if we finish first, it is our responsibility to help them get to that point too... unless im drunk then im gonna finish and fall asleep.

Swervin 0

Nothing I'm boasting about by any means lol, but I think this anecdote could help a few people out. 3 and 4 years ago in my high school days I came up with a pretty simple idea that has proven to be very useful to me now. After talking it over with a few female friends of mine (I'm a guy, btw) we would set up times where we would go to a theater in my city that shows movies for a lil over a dollar (they could afford to do this simply because they show every movie that ever comes out, just a few months after the fact and because there are at least 5 colleges in the surrounding area with poor college students to fund it lol). I would get to the theater with one of my friends right after school let out since there are little to no people there at that time. From there we would go to separate bathrooms, get paper towels to take in the theater and I would discreetly practice my fingering techniques on them throughout the movie. She would, in turn, eventually return the favor before the movie was over. After this had been going on for a few months I started to like one of the girls I had this set up with, so even though we weren't exclusive quite yet I cut the agreement I had with the other girls and spent my "movie time" with the aforementioned gal. She wasn't very experienced in the sex department, but she definitely learned what she did and didn't like from our NUMEROUS encounters (the movies were 2 bucks a pop for me...), and since we had become quite close over the months and started liking one another she was able to VOCALIZE these things to me. It sounds bad, but the more people that were in the theater... the better lol. I say this because you are forced to create the facade that you are captured by what is going on on the big screen while in all actuality your hands are down your neighbor's pants doing naughty things. My theory was if I could make her hot/****** in the dark with one hand without looking at what I was doing and focusing solely on touches and her responses to them then I would be able to do some real work in a more private setting. While my friend realllly enjoyed the fingering n got hot n went n whatnot, she wasn't quite sure if she had had an ****** or not. I kinda though that was something you DEFINITELY knew you had, so I figured there were some things I could do better. I swallowed my pride (something most dudes have NO experience in doing) and did a bit of studying on female genitalia and how everything actually worked down there. Turns out while my friend HAD had orgasms, but they were clitoral orgasms. Those are quite nice, but the sensation from a G-spot-stimulated ****** is a much deeper, and ofter times more enjoyable ******. So after learning different techniques on how to properly find it i tested them on my friend the next day. I will never forget this day for the rest of my life. We went to see the movie Shooter (very good... and portions of it were filmed in the city I live in lol), and while I love a nice ****** just as much as the next person I was pretty pumped to see this movie and had every intention on enjoying the hell out of it. So by the end of the previews my RIGHT hand was down my friends pants after warming her up a bit (normally she sat to my left since I am left handed but since there were a decent amount of people in the theater we had to alter our seating arrangement a bit). Not fully paying attention to what I was doing I subconsciously started to put what I had learned into practice while intently watching the movie. After about 15 or 20 minutes or so I felt her vaginal walls close VERY tightly around my fingers since I had found and started stimulated her G-spot (I knew this based on the texture of what I was gently stroking. Being slightly surprised by this since it hadn't happened before I stopped, and as I slid my fingers out I heard her let out a huge gasp and her body went completely limp for a few seconds. After catching her breath she gave me an incredibly surprised, yet kinky smile, gently squeezed my crotch and said "More. Now." From that moment on I devoted my attention on her and was able to find her G-spot immediately and went to work on it. Since my forearm was resting on her stomach slightly I could feel her abs contract violently as shock-wave after shock-wave of orgasmic bliss quaked throughout her body. Just watching her body quiver in passion and bitter her lip so she wouldn't let out any moans or whimpers that would draw attention was BEYOND hot. After about 45 minutes of this she pushed my hand away, told me she couldn't take anymore, proceeded to give me the best hand job I've ever received in my life, and went to sleep lol. I've always TRIED my best to apply an adage to my life: Sex with no love is like sex with no glove: pretty pointless and risky. In my humble opinion, holding hands and simply being around someone you love is a hell of a lot better than a random **** session (though I won't deny the fact that they can be enjoyable). After my experience during Shooter I realized that there is nothing more satisfying than knowing for damn sure that you have satisfied the hell out of someone you genially care about, be it sexually or not. If you are in a situation where you aren't being satisfied there are more than likely two people at fault: you and the person ******* you. Communication is the ultimate key, end of story. Without it the big O will always be something you know, not something you remember ; )


The way I see it, sex is a race to ******. Men, like in everything else, always win

boojie97 12

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ifailplzinsultme 0

haha 10 year olds swearing so cute

Ok.... that comment was nasty and was NOT nessicary!!

#2 like you would know what one feels like

Man im 20 years younger than u and probley had more pussy than u

0die 0

Silly child. You misspelled 'hole.'

Anna-nymous 8

it was an attempt at sexism against women, but men don't really win anything. women are favored.

vclpoet14 0

That happened the very first time I ever had sex. He came before I did. FML

OEsEben 0

as a guy i'll admit if we finish first, it is our responsibility to help them get to that point too... unless im drunk then im gonna finish and fall asleep.

slushpup9696 12

OEsEBEN is like a marine but for sex. No ****** left behind.

you may finish first but some of us don't cum from 5 minutes of sex. having said that if you know what the specific girl likes, then it shouldnt take her too long. if you learn control and know what she likes, then she should be able to have multiple orgasms

MCart_fml 0

#20, I agree with the theory but not the conclusion. OP I have a plan for you: dump your BF and if your next one doesn't please you before himself, dump him. Repeat the process until you find one that does, or switch to women.

Adovock 6

Just so you know, not every guy can. It's not like girls where we can keep going after the ******, and also, most guys can't control when they do. It's not like he wanted to cum first. Breaking up with a guy just because he doesn't last very long is mean. If the guy can't last long, try having him be on bottom. When guys are on top, they use more muscles and tension in the body so they can't hold it very well. On bottom, their whole body is relaxed, and thus they can last a muuuuch longer time.

Eir_fml 1

I wouldn't imagine finishing without making sure she did too. (probably first, more than once if possible) :) Not every guy is looking for a quick finish and a nap, girls.

poor guy. i understand why it's an FML, but give him a break. sometimes it can't be helped.

#34 i dont see how you still enjoy it. sex isnt half as much fun without finishing with an ******

silentfirefly 0

I hear ya. No guy has ever gotten me to climax.

tyff_marie 0

ugh, doesnt it just PISSSSSS you off. almost there and then they pull out and are like "im soooo sorry" happens to me A LOT. shit man.

Unfortunately...that almost always happens with my b/f...