Rumpkis
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Aurora, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
shmarf
Belton, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Snowball
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
fuck
Cowansville, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Nasty
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
karma
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
First!
Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML
Embarrassed
🌶️ Spicy
Self harm
Today, I managed to give myself a blowjob and it was great. The only problem is that I got stuck between the wall and my bed while I was doing it. I had to call for help and my whole family came to see what was wrong. They all knew what I was doing. FML
Anonymous
Poland 🌶️ Spicy
Benefits
Today, after years of no sex, a friend of mine told me she would like some benefits. I got too excited and came before even putting it in. FML
BadBribe
United States 🌶️ Spicy
The pleasure, the pain
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
noname
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Top comments
fmessiah 19
Wipe up, and start again.
C19_fml 9
Well, better luck next time haha!
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Comments (263)
bizarre_ftw 22
Ask her for a redo, and jack off in the mean time as much as you can to build up your stamina. No, this isn't a joke, it's *gasp* Actual Advice! Shocking, isn't it? On FML of all places
boredfishing 0
That makes you a saint. Just not sure which one yet
chokey2 5
Sounds like he'll be jackin off ALOT if he came that fast
Sheila_Creeper 0
*facepalm* >_
jobsman99 0
Hopefully you had your dick out of you pants and came on her face and ****. Have her clean you up with her mouth and start again. Nothing like a ********. I enjoy at least one every day from my gal for many many years.
cjhilde 1
Im sure this was a 4% accurate statement
22jrdn55 15
Two things: 1) most people who brag about things, are usually the ones to lack them!( not my theory) 2) I bet you don't have a GF, cause come on man, girls get offended this shit, and since you "enjoy at least one everyday" you wouldn't dare to offend her! If you did, she wouldn't "blow" you everyday!
Little_Hairy 0
OH.
laurajane_fml 4
Awkward moment
meben 0
Dude.. I can't even get off through a ********. Sounds like you suffer some premature ejaculation to the Max. That blows bro.
purple91 8
At least you saved her some time and effort.
Nitial 6
"You should have seen the 'expression' on her face"
maphineRAWRS 10
What are you, like 11? ahha
McAninch35 9
Oh god. Are you related to Jerry Sandusky by any chance?
uniongirl02 0
You seem like you're 11.
pawzluver 7
You look 11. Lol
xobianca 10
Your suppose to jack off before you show up to avoid situations like that, noob..
muffdriver27 5
Well said
irritatedone 5
Well sometimes a ******** is impromptu and there's no time to rub one out first.
luv_him6 6
haha thats funni, try again later