By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 11:24 - Australia

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 497
You deserved it 5 887

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You shoul probably get that checked out...

saIty 17

That's when you know your pleaser is giving 120%.


You shoul probably get that checked out...

Wow. Did she have sandpaper on her hands?

Hmm I see you have already met Edward scissorhands sister...

This is what happens when you get your salad tossed for you. Idiots put tomato sauce instead of mayonnaise in it. Unless you teach the other person how you like your salad...

Bethawny 0

a hand job? that's what happens when you have no job and play with puppets! how are your puppets bleeding!?

Edward scissor hands is not very skilled in hand jobs. You don't want to know what he's like with blow jobs

Damn_Hippster 11

What kind of hand jobs do they give in Australia?

37- thats not a normal Aussie handjob... Thats something completely different! Lol Plus us Aussie girls like blow jobs better!

Did you get to spray some baby gravy atleast?

stacianichole 2

Cause he has scissors for teeth too? Fail.

16...what the **** are you talking about

Damn_Hippster 11

55- I'll keep that in mind ;)

juicedboi 7

She popped your cherry.. Somehow..

Did she give you a hand job with a knife?

TheRealHouse 7

is she a construction worker?!

nixter5 18

Buy dat bitch some HAND LOTION

LaydiexSkull 3

I'm guessing she gave it to him rough

dd809 9

I agree. You just have to learn to ignore the really stupid immature comments.

funkyspacemonkey 0

Do you play words with friends Asian girl?

@16; I think the point of your metaphor got lost somewhere along the lines.

That's what happens when ya raw dog it

hey asainchick, I'd love to play balls with ya;)

You're 14. You're barely in middle school...

Finn_the_human 5

259-haha I'm also a freshman and I'm not that stupid!! it ain't called a bloody Mary...I dunno if you were tryin to be funny or somethin but it didn't work...dip shit..

That is actually a good comparison. . . .

Those sandpaper gloves from Home Depot

Susieee_Q 9

Yeah, when I was reading this my reaction was: "Nice! Congra-- Uhh...."

Capt_Awesome137 0

From were exactly did u start bleeding?

Killuhk 8

Okay i'm 19 and I don't completely understand how the **** this could happen? Lol some one explain please...

saIty 17

That's when you know your pleaser is giving 120%.

bizarre_ftw 21

That's when you stop calling your pleaser your pleaser

It's the age old problem as to what to do if your partner starts smoking in bed... You slow down and use a bit more lube. Though blood does technically count as lube in this situation.

nixter5 18

Obviously 78 doesn't ********** much...

whippymcdumb4zs 0

It's not "lube" dumb-ass, it's jerkins hand lotion.

A handjob isn't a handjob without lube haha :p not a good one anyway ;)

StopDropNRoll 11

Doesn't feel very nice unless you're used to it.

no joke man this has happened to me before

I always say put lube until you think you put enough, then put more.

Badab1ng 5
jessamy_brit 5

Sorry, I don't need a women to do what I've perfected! :) if a girl tries to rub me off, I stop her, she's useless then.

KennKenn 0

23- You have too much free time. Go outside, seriously.

jvillan87 5

What 23 is trying to say is: "I've never actually had someone give me a handjob, let alone had sex. I only prefer my hand because I've never felt anything else before...cept my father's pocket pussy I steal when he's not home."

23 look out of your window...that's the outside and that's a girl within the outside...go talk to her

bizarre_ftw 21

204 - but will she talk back?......... Ah the suspense

smc3106 25

Within the outside? What? Lol

RecklessJellyBea 7

This is one of the downsides to ***********.