Intimacy: Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came...

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 937

You deserved it 18 658

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 095

You deserved it 5 531

By shmarf - 20/06/2015 06:00 - United States - Belton

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 800

You deserved it 19 597

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 606

You deserved it 4 790

By fuck - 24/07/2015 16:44 - Canada - Cowansville

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 654

You deserved it 3 118

Nasty

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 11:24 - Australia

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 513

You deserved it 5 890

First!

By karma - 28/01/2009 18:36 - Canada

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 173

You deserved it 7 474

By Embarrassed - 06/12/2018 03:00

Today, I managed to give myself a blowjob and it was great. The only problem is that I got stuck between the wall and my bed while I was doing it. I had to call for help and my whole family came to see what was wrong. They all knew what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 6 125

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 636

You deserved it 61 790

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 605

You deserved it 17 143

By beerpong26 - 06/02/2009 19:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 573

You deserved it 6 883

fmessiah 17

Monday 5 December 2011 8:38

Wipe up, and start again.

C19_fml 9

Monday 5 December 2011 8:36

Well, better luck next time haha!

Comments

tyrrell030491 7

Monday 5 December 2011 23:57

Ouch! Unlucky man, maybe next time :)

clusterfungus 3

Tuesday 6 December 2011 0:10

Exciting!! Just remember to breathe, buddy. ;)

duhWINNING2_fml 9

Tuesday 6 December 2011 1:20

You should probably wait til you hit double digits before you start getting that intimate.

lustheart 7

Tuesday 6 December 2011 4:26

You're barely in double digits yourself....

duhWINNING2_fml 9

Tuesday 6 December 2011 7:55

We're the same age.:p

hotncool 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 1:31

Hahaha Yo ass came befo you even got in her mouth You weenie Lmao

Leftoverjello 6

Tuesday 6 December 2011 19:52

Wow. I'd rather be a premature ejaculator than have your understanding of the English language.

kdm_km1 19

Tuesday 6 December 2011 2:09

Winning!

1seven1 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 2:26

Classy move

sharktat2 10

Tuesday 6 December 2011 3:35

Try,try again...and again...hehe

BD_Swingin 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 3:43

Well that sucks for you... Oh wait no, that blows! Oh shit it doesn't do that either.

sethm51 6

Tuesday 6 December 2011 4:03

wow

guerillazinsuits 1

Tuesday 6 December 2011 4:13

Not a BJ then?

Keywords

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Same thing different taste

Nasty

First!

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