By anonomous - 07/04/2012 15:27 - United States

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 959
You deserved it 46 311

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Maybe you should of been honest about faking it

Finnick_fml 12

It took him years to give you an ******..?


You should've Said u faked that one too but made it sound more intense

But ... I don't understand why women think they're obliged to fake or even have an ****** ?

11 - Oh, come on brahski. You should already know that most women who can't achieve ****** (not that it's impossible, mind you, they're just not as readily men) either fake it because a) they don't want to make you feel...inadequate, or b) you ain't gettin' it done so they want you to hurry up. Actually, a and b are kin of the same, but a is more...polite, I guess? Alhough, personally, I would like the girl in with to tell me so I can at least try to make her feel good some other way. tl;dr it's not easy for them, so to avoid from feeling awkward, they fake it.

No one benefits from a fake ******..

Just because you don't have an ****** doesn't necessarily mean it wasn't good. Some women just can't have orgasms.

aaahhhfire21 0

Did u tell him the truth afterward?

I agree with #11. Why fake it when you can work together to get it right.

Ugh, sorry about the minimal errors (if you picked up on it) in my previous post, guys -- I did it from my iPhone. Pff you know how it goes.

blackheart24 10

Time to come clean OP. Yes, the pun was intended.

I prefer it if the woman I'm with doesn't fake either. Without lots of practice on self control, a man will typically finish first (if it is natural that he can hold back, more power to him, lucky bastard...), and if I finish first I am more than willing to help her reach ****** in other ways. Ladies, just be honest with your men.

Don't know why I'm getting thumbed down. I know tons of women who say that they have great sexual experiences and yet have never had an ******...

58- I'm guessing you've been lied to by a past girlfriend.

The reason I thumbed you down was because I'd wager there are not many who "just can't". It's more like the other person isn't trying or she has no idea what one is like to tell you what she likes. I was in both boats where I'd never had one because the person I was with for 11 years didn't care. I'm sure you will all love to hear that it's all good now that someone showed me the way. :-) I'm single again but at least I can help the next guy out lol

Number 45 knows women well. Judging by the fact that she hasn't had an ****** with her husband for many years, she faked it for reason 'A'. It's not JUST a polite thing though, some women feel slightly embarrassed about the fact that they can't reach an ******; like they feel something is wrong with them. Of course, that's all psychological since every woman can reach an ******- but still, how would you men feel if you couldn't reach an ****** with the woman you loved for over a few years? I think you would eventually feel pretty ashamed about it as well, so don't take it too personally. I'm not saying 'faking it' is the correct option; I'm just giving you an insight.

I know that when I was younger (18-23), I couldn't ******. Whether that was because I didn't know how my body worked, I didn't feel comfortable, I wasn't at my sexual peak or if it was a lack of knowledge on the guys part, I don't know. It was probably all of those things. Even now though, I don't have an ****** every time. Funny thing is I agree with #48(?), I enjoy sex even if I don't ******. It's different with men and women. Although what I hated and did not enjoy, is when I was honest with my partner and it just became a challenge for him and made me uncomfortable and put a lot of pressure on me to fake it. After a hour it really starts to hurt, and sometimes it's just not going to happen. So if guys want to not be lied to, they need to not make it an ego thing.

twisted_cherub 14

Agreed 158- I dated a guy who demanded I have and ****** or "we aren't leaving this room". He tried everything to get me to climax, but it was too much pressure. A woman has to be relaxed to get off. Insisting she get hers only makes things worse. After him I faked by habit, which took a long time to break. Now I usually have orgasms, but even when I don't I'm still satisfied. I like sex, even if there's no big ending. *Note: Stress, being sick, working too hard, psychological or emotional issues with sex or our partner, blood pressure problems, distractions, and a lot more things that have nothing to do with his performance affect our ability to climax. Sometimes guys shouldn't take it so personally.

spekledworf 18

My long term boyfriend has yet to make me ******, but the sex is still great. I'm honest about it too, he tries to improve himself. The only time I've been able to ****** is in my sleep, strangly enough

I'm pretty sure all women can have an ******, it is possible they can not achieve one from JUST sex though.

Some women are incapable of ******. Some women can have ****** from just penetration, but it is rarer than a woman who can get off through clitoral stimulation. Just because women can have multiple orgasms does not mean she needs, or has, orgasms every time she has sex.

sandra2499 3
kdn102 6

"because a) they don't want to make you feel...inadequate, or b) you ain't gettin' it done so they want you to hurry up. Actually, a and b are kin of the same, but a is more...polite, I guess?" So it's polite to lie these days? Yes, if you're faking an ****** YOU ARE LYING.

Maybe you should of been honest about faking it

What is the point of girls faking orgasms?! I mean the husband is going to think he is a sex god when he can't even get OP's motor running! GIRLS EVERYWHERE IF YOUR MAN IS SHIT IN BED TELL HIM, **** HIS FEELINGS.

Or honest and told him he could get her off... your man learn how to make you cum. Seriously; it's the most selfless act I can think of for your long term sexual enjoyment.

Yes be honest an he will try harder to make sure u Do an it'll be a lot better sex I promise

It takes 237 muscles to fake an ****** and only 15 to say "it's called a ******** and it's right here."

Lmao 51! You are so right! Clitoral stimulation is key for women who feel they can't reach the big moment.

60- Just quoting a tweet I saw. I wouldn't know. :S

ManicGypsy 22

#28 I totally agree with you. I have found that if I fake it with a guy, he never really tries to please me because he is totally clueless to the fact that he isn't pleasing me. But being up front and honest with a man helps. My husband knows that it's not over til we are both satisfied and we have a wonderful relationship because of it. I've never faked it with him. :)

blackheart24 10

FML: the one place in the world where complete strangers share details of their sex lives and don't give a shit who reads it. Bravo my friends. We have built bridges.

Man, how stupid can you get. Hope you never have an ****** again.

I cherish the fact I can tell someone about the time I walked into an alley to puke and some hobos were having anal sex.

Finnick_fml 12

It took him years to give you an ******..?

I was married to my husband for five years (in addition to a year and a half of dating) before he gave me my first ******. A female ****** is not easy to achieve. Love the name, by the way.

whoisthisgirl 4

These men must be doing it wrong!

Whatever happened to couples communicating during sex so that both people can experience the most pleasure? If your husband isn't giving you an ******, then try figuring out what he's doing wrong together. I hate it when women fake it, that's so counter productive.

17 It can depend on the girl. For instance my girlfriend can ****** quicker than's not fun!

I agree. I never had any problems in that department but I did discovered my body at a very young age while getting out of a swimming pool, off the deep end. (: 17, that may be true of a lot of women but I hope you didn't fake it with your husband. Sex can still feel amazing even without an ****** but to pretend that it was better than it is, doesn't seen fair to either(eye) person.

Redoxx_fml 22

That's why you take he car for a test drive before you buy

Yes, 59, because the only reason she wanted to marry him was for sex.

Where is OP's part in all of this? I didn't wait until someone was 'making me' have an ****** to try it on my own. How can you find what you need when you don't even know what you're looking for? I feel for both of them- him for not even knowing he wasn't actually making her come, and her for the sheer lack of oxytocin in her life!!

bizarre_ftw 21

17 - you married a guy you started dating when you were 17.5? You realise the reason he took so long to give you an ****** is probably because he was just starting to figure out the finer points of sex when you two got together, the more experience a person has the better they'll understand this (also, just he never gave you an ****** or you hadn't had one before at all? Because I always find it interesting when I hear about girls that don't manage it even on their own, I mean, there are so many tricks to figure out and our anatomy isn't really that different woman to woman so if you got creative and also researched it a little I can't imagine it would be that hard - but this is coming from someone on the other end of the spectrum so I might not have a clue what I'm talking about [and for the record, I'm a virgin, so again I'm working with one-sided info here])

bizarre_ftw 21

34 - girls can have multiple orgasms, especially vaginally, if she orgasms faster than you you guys are lucky! Don't stop after she orgasms, keep going, slow down the pace a little bit while she's orgasming sure but pick it right back up after

122 - it can sometimes not be fun because after an ****** she gets relaxed and doesn't pleasure me as much :/ 127 - Thanks for the advice! I will surely use it soon!

70: Marriages aren't based solely on sex.. But they sure as hell are broken up by it. So yes, test drive before you buy.

well thats weird cuz it's pretty easy for me to have one.

C'mon... Peeta all the way. I do still like your username though (sorry i just had to although it has nothing to do with the comments!)

That's kind of self-defeating. One would think you would want to experience a real ****** and not have to fake it. If he wasn't doing something right you should have said something or guided him.

Exactly! I hate when ladies say they don't want to teach a man how to give them an ******. They don't exactly teach this in sex ed. If my lady is doing something wrong or could do something better I'm going to let her know. It'll make a better experience for both of us.

hurtandabused 7

Many women fear men being hurt they can't give her one so they fake so she makes them happy.

Ya but every woman is different and some NEED to explain what gets them off

RedPillSucks 31

Yeah but this is not the 50s. Women should feel they need to cater to the male ego in bed.

ajourdhui 0

Although I agree with you, giving guidance doesn't always succeed in that department. It's definitely better to speak up, but you can't just assume that if you tell your partner what gets you off an ****** will happen. I've experienced this with my boyfriend; I tell him what I want and he tries and tries but sometimes I just can't get there. ( that's for clitoral orgasms... I can only have an ****** due to penetration with my bf)

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

mpj13 8

Some men you just can't reach

She didn't try to teach you don't know if he could have been taught

mpj13 8

I thought 7 was quoting a song, and I was saying the next line. Perhaps not though

Me too 30. I read it in the voice they say it in guns n roses

rainbowbigbird 7

Lyrics or not, communication is so Effing important. I dont mean feelings and sappy stuff all the time... Just being able to be comfortable and open. You gotta build that dynamic. Otherwise it can get terribly tense...

To finish the quote (cause I hate to leave anything unfinished): "So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it... Well, he gets it"

MischievousV 8

She probably tried in the beginning. I mean she must have said something but putting someone on the spot like the whole "we aren't leaving until you ****** thing" really turns off The mood. My last boyfriend always did that whenever I tried to tell him he wasn't doing it right. After a while I gave up and faked it just so I could leave. It's moot trying to explain this to some men. They don't get when the mood is dead.

I have to say you deserve this one, OP. You should of just been honest, and then you two could have found out what it takes to make you ****** a long time ago. So really you missed out on a lot of potential good times because you weren't honest.

deathpotato 11

Just tell him that this one was a super ******.

"Oh NARS! Yes. Yes. YES!! " Cashier: that'll be $33.00 "no. No. Nooo!!" Guys need to get with the program and take a thrusting course or something. Buying super orgasms from Sephora is expensive. It's cheaper to DIY than fake it. *puts blush on*

Yeah, that's the ticket: compound things with more lies.

TheElderTROLLZ 15

Just tell him the others were fake. Maybe he won't be so mad?

It's either that, or continue lying. Which do you think would be more productive long term?