By anonomous - United States
  Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
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By  harrypotter955  |  19

You should've Said u faked that one too but made it sound more intense

  br0dawg  |  6

11 - Oh, come on brahski. You should already know that most women who can't achieve orgasm (not that it's impossible, mind you, they're just not as readily men) either fake it because a) they don't want to make you feel...inadequate, or b) you ain't gettin' it done so they want you to hurry up.

Actually, a and b are kin of the same, but a is more...polite, I guess?

Alhough, personally, I would like the girl in with to tell me so I can at least try to make her feel good some other way.

tl;dr it's not easy for them, so to avoid from feeling awkward, they fake it.

  Drigr  |  9

I prefer it if the woman I'm with doesn't fake either. Without lots of practice on self control, a man will typically finish first (if it is natural that he can hold back, more power to him, lucky bastard...), and if I finish first I am more than willing to help her reach orgasm in other ways. Ladies, just be honest with your men.

  thats_my_job  |  11

The reason I thumbed you down was because I'd wager there are not many who "just can't". It's more like the other person isn't trying or she has no idea what one is like to tell you what she likes. I was in both boats where I'd never had one because the person I was with for 11 years didn't care. I'm sure you will all love to hear that it's all good now that someone showed me the way. :-) I'm single again but at least I can help the next guy out lol


Number 45 knows women well. Judging by the fact that she hasn't had an orgasm with her husband for many years, she faked it for reason 'A'. It's not JUST a polite thing though, some women feel slightly embarrassed about the fact that they can't reach an orgasm; like they feel something is wrong with them. Of course, that's all psychological since every woman can reach an orgasm- but still, how would you men feel if you couldn't reach an orgasm with the woman you loved for over a few years? I think you would eventually feel pretty ashamed about it as well, so don't take it too personally. I'm not saying 'faking it' is the correct option; I'm just giving you an insight.

  klutzyduck1  |  24

I know that when I was younger (18-23), I couldn't orgasm. Whether that was because I didn't know how my body worked, I didn't feel comfortable, I wasn't at my sexual peak or if it was a lack of knowledge on the guys part, I don't know. It was probably all of those things. Even now though, I don't have an orgasm every time. Funny thing is I agree with #48(?), I enjoy sex even if I don't orgasm. It's different with men and women. Although what I hated and did not enjoy, is when I was honest with my partner and it just became a challenge for him and made me uncomfortable and put a lot of pressure on me to fake it. After a hour it really starts to hurt, and sometimes it's just not going to happen. So if guys want to not be lied to, they need to not make it an ego thing.

  twisted_cherub  |  14

Agreed 158- I dated a guy who demanded I have and orgasm or "we aren't leaving this room". He tried everything to get me to climax, but it was too much pressure. A woman has to be relaxed to get off. Insisting she get hers only makes things worse. After him I faked by habit, which took a long time to break. Now I usually have orgasms, but even when I don't I'm still satisfied. I like sex, even if there's no big ending.

*Note: Stress, being sick, working too hard, psychological or emotional issues with sex or our partner, blood pressure problems, distractions, and a lot more things that have nothing to do with his performance affect our ability to climax. Sometimes guys shouldn't take it so personally.

  spekledworf  |  18

My long term boyfriend has yet to make me orgasm, but the sex is still great. I'm honest about it too, he tries to improve himself. The only time I've been able to orgasm is in my sleep, strangly enough

  GoldenGrizzly  |  7

Some women are incapable of orgasm. Some women can have orgasm from just penetration, but it is rarer than a woman who can get off through clitoral stimulation. Just because women can have multiple orgasms does not mean she needs, or has, orgasms every time she has sex.

  kdn102  |  6

"because a) they don't want to make you feel...inadequate, or b) you ain't gettin' it done so they want you to hurry up.

Actually, a and b are kin of the same, but a is more...polite, I guess?"

So it's polite to lie these days? Yes, if you're faking an orgasm YOU ARE LYING.

  SkoomaKi  |  27

What is the point of girls faking orgasms?! I mean the husband is going to think he is a sex god when he can't even get OP's motor running! GIRLS EVERYWHERE IF YOUR MAN IS SHIT IN BED TELL HIM, FUCK HIS FEELINGS.

  ManicGypsy  |  22

#28 I totally agree with you. I have found that if I fake it with a guy, he never really tries to please me because he is totally clueless to the fact that he isn't pleasing me. But being up front and honest with a man helps. My husband knows that it's not over til we are both satisfied and we have a wonderful relationship because of it. I've never faked it with him. :)

  betticonfetti  |  7

I was married to my husband for five years (in addition to a year and a half of dating) before he gave me my first orgasm. A female orgasm is not easy to achieve.

Love the name, by the way.

  deviable  |  9

Whatever happened to couples communicating during sex so that both people can experience the most pleasure? If your husband isn't giving you an orgasm, then try figuring out what he's doing wrong together. I hate it when women fake it, that's so counter productive.

  Enslaved  |  36

I agree. I never had any problems in that department but I did discovered my body at a very young age while getting out of a swimming pool, off the deep end. (:

17, that may be true of a lot of women but I hope you didn't fake it with your husband. Sex can still feel amazing even without an orgasm but to pretend that it was better than it is, doesn't seen fair to either(eye) person.

  PrincessPesa  |  20

Where is OP's part in all of this? I didn't wait until someone was 'making me' have an orgasm to try it on my own. How can you find what you need when you don't even know what you're looking for? I feel for both of them- him for not even knowing he wasn't actually making her come, and her for the sheer lack of oxytocin in her life!!

  bizarre_ftw  |  21

17 - you married a guy you started dating when you were 17.5? You realise the reason he took so long to give you an orgasm is probably because he was just starting to figure out the finer points of sex when you two got together, the more experience a person has the better they'll understand this (also, just he never gave you an orgasm or you hadn't had one before at all? Because I always find it interesting when I hear about girls that don't manage it even on their own, I mean, there are so many tricks to figure out and our anatomy isn't really that different woman to woman so if you got creative and also researched it a little I can't imagine it would be that hard - but this is coming from someone on the other end of the spectrum so I might not have a clue what I'm talking about [and for the record, I'm a virgin, so again I'm working with one-sided info here])

  bizarre_ftw  |  21

34 - girls can have multiple orgasms, especially vaginally, if she orgasms faster than you you guys are lucky! Don't stop after she orgasms, keep going, slow down the pace a little bit while she's orgasming sure but pick it right back up after

  SkoomaKi  |  27

122 - it can sometimes not be fun because after an orgasm she gets relaxed and doesn't pleasure me as much :/ 127 - Thanks for the advice! I will surely use it soon!

By  Melissa92_fml  |  13

That's kind of self-defeating. One would think you would want to experience a real orgasm and not have to fake it. If he wasn't doing something right you should have said something or guided him.

  maskedman  |  9

Exactly! I hate when ladies say they don't want to teach a man how to give them an orgasm. They don't exactly teach this in sex ed.

If my lady is doing something wrong or could do something better I'm going to let her know. It'll make a better experience for both of us.

  ajourdhui  |  0

Although I agree with you, giving guidance doesn't always succeed in that department. It's definitely better to speak up, but you can't just assume that if you tell your partner what gets you off an orgasm will happen. I've experienced this with my boyfriend; I tell him what I want and he tries and tries but sometimes I just can't get there. ( that's for clitoral orgasms... I can only have an orgasm due to penetration with my bf)


Lyrics or not, communication is so Effing important. I dont mean feelings and sappy stuff all the time... Just being able to be comfortable and open. You gotta build that dynamic. Otherwise it can get terribly tense...

  MischievousV  |  8

She probably tried in the beginning. I mean she must have said something but putting someone on the spot like the whole "we aren't leaving until you orgasm thing" really turns off The mood. My last boyfriend always did that whenever I tried to tell him he wasn't doing it right. After a while I gave up and faked it just so I could leave. It's moot trying to explain this to some men. They don't get when the mood is dead.

By  davidbdb485  |  0

I have to say you deserve this one, OP. You should of just been honest, and then you two could have found out what it takes to make you orgasm a long time ago. So really you missed out on a lot of potential good times because you weren't honest.

  br0ccoli  |  14

"Oh NARS! Yes. Yes. YES!! "
Cashier: that'll be $33.00
"no. No. Nooo!!"

Guys need to get with the program and take a thrusting course or something. Buying super orgasms from Sephora is expensive. It's cheaper to DIY than fake it. *puts blush on*