By anonomous - 07/04/2012 15:27 - United States
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You should've Said u faked that one too but made it sound more intense
11 - Oh, come on brahski. You should already know that most women who can't achieve orgasm (not that it's impossible, mind you, they're just not as readily men) either fake it because a) they don't want to make you feel...inadequate, or b) you ain't gettin' it done so they want you to hurry up. Actually, a and b are kin of the same, but a is more...polite, I guess? Alhough, personally, I would like the girl in with to tell me so I can at least try to make her feel good some other way. tl;dr it's not easy for them, so to avoid from feeling awkward, they fake it.
I prefer it if the woman I'm with doesn't fake either. Without lots of practice on self control, a man will typically finish first (if it is natural that he can hold back, more power to him, lucky bastard...), and if I finish first I am more than willing to help her reach orgasm in other ways. Ladies, just be honest with your men.
The reason I thumbed you down was because I'd wager there are not many who "just can't". It's more like the other person isn't trying or she has no idea what one is like to tell you what she likes. I was in both boats where I'd never had one because the person I was with for 11 years didn't care. I'm sure you will all love to hear that it's all good now that someone showed me the way. :-) I'm single again but at least I can help the next guy out lol
Number 45 knows women well. Judging by the fact that she hasn't had an orgasm with her husband for many years, she faked it for reason 'A'. It's not JUST a polite thing though, some women feel slightly embarrassed about the fact that they can't reach an orgasm; like they feel something is wrong with them. Of course, that's all psychological since every woman can reach an orgasm- but still, how would you men feel if you couldn't reach an orgasm with the woman you loved for over a few years? I think you would eventually feel pretty ashamed about it as well, so don't take it too personally. I'm not saying 'faking it' is the correct option; I'm just giving you an insight.
I know that when I was younger (18-23), I couldn't orgasm. Whether that was because I didn't know how my body worked, I didn't feel comfortable, I wasn't at my sexual peak or if it was a lack of knowledge on the guys part, I don't know. It was probably all of those things. Even now though, I don't have an orgasm every time. Funny thing is I agree with #48(?), I enjoy sex even if I don't orgasm. It's different with men and women. Although what I hated and did not enjoy, is when I was honest with my partner and it just became a challenge for him and made me uncomfortable and put a lot of pressure on me to fake it. After a hour it really starts to hurt, and sometimes it's just not going to happen. So if guys want to not be lied to, they need to not make it an ego thing.
Agreed 158- I dated a guy who demanded I have and orgasm or "we aren't leaving this room". He tried everything to get me to climax, but it was too much pressure. A woman has to be relaxed to get off. Insisting she get hers only makes things worse. After him I faked by habit, which took a long time to break. Now I usually have orgasms, but even when I don't I'm still satisfied. I like sex, even if there's no big ending. *Note: Stress, being sick, working too hard, psychological or emotional issues with sex or our partner, blood pressure problems, distractions, and a lot more things that have nothing to do with his performance affect our ability to climax. Sometimes guys shouldn't take it so personally.
#28 I totally agree with you. I have found that if I fake it with a guy, he never really tries to please me because he is totally clueless to the fact that he isn't pleasing me. But being up front and honest with a man helps. My husband knows that it's not over til we are both satisfied and we have a wonderful relationship because of it. I've never faked it with him. :)
I agree. I never had any problems in that department but I did discovered my body at a very young age while getting out of a swimming pool, off the deep end. (: 17, that may be true of a lot of women but I hope you didn't fake it with your husband. Sex can still feel amazing even without an orgasm but to pretend that it was better than it is, doesn't seen fair to either(eye) person.
Where is OP's part in all of this? I didn't wait until someone was 'making me' have an orgasm to try it on my own. How can you find what you need when you don't even know what you're looking for? I feel for both of them- him for not even knowing he wasn't actually making her come, and her for the sheer lack of oxytocin in her life!!
17 - you married a guy you started dating when you were 17.5? You realise the reason he took so long to give you an orgasm is probably because he was just starting to figure out the finer points of sex when you two got together, the more experience a person has the better they'll understand this (also, just he never gave you an orgasm or you hadn't had one before at all? Because I always find it interesting when I hear about girls that don't manage it even on their own, I mean, there are so many tricks to figure out and our anatomy isn't really that different woman to woman so if you got creative and also researched it a little I can't imagine it would be that hard - but this is coming from someone on the other end of the spectrum so I might not have a clue what I'm talking about [and for the record, I'm a virgin, so again I'm working with one-sided info here])
Although I agree with you, giving guidance doesn't always succeed in that department. It's definitely better to speak up, but you can't just assume that if you tell your partner what gets you off an orgasm will happen. I've experienced this with my boyfriend; I tell him what I want and he tries and tries but sometimes I just can't get there. ( that's for clitoral orgasms... I can only have an orgasm due to penetration with my bf)
She probably tried in the beginning. I mean she must have said something but putting someone on the spot like the whole "we aren't leaving until you orgasm thing" really turns off The mood. My last boyfriend always did that whenever I tried to tell him he wasn't doing it right. After a while I gave up and faked it just so I could leave. It's moot trying to explain this to some men. They don't get when the mood is dead.
Maybe you should of been honest about faking it
It took him years to give you an orgasm..?