Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
imajinethat 0
Well, the good news is, you just got ****** by life. :) Congrats.
Animati0n 0
So? It's not a bad thing.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (257)
PositiveChillout 0
Quite honestly, I don't know why everyone thinks this person's life is "******" simply because he has yet to lose his virginity at age 23. Where has all the decency and self respect gone? When someone thinks their life is "******" because they have yet to have sex, they need to seriously re-evaulate their life, beliefs, ego, and self worth. It makes me sad when I hear about people whose life revolves around making love.
24788 7
I have the same problem. It really bites.
satanicminnow1 1
"I never had sex" Boo ******* hoo. There are far more important things in life than sex. Stop complaining for ***** sake. Couldn't agree more PositiveChillout.
FeelYaFallinAway 0
That sucks. I hope you find someone soon
o76923 8
Don't condoms last for 2 or 3 years anyway? Add an expiration date 5 years ago... Seriously, you need to clean your house more. Maybe that's why you don't get any. That or it could be because you're 25 and still live with your mother...
SeventhFonons 0
Hey, I haven't been laid either and I could be 25 and not really care about it 8D Why must people constantly have sex just to be happy/ satisfied with life? There're other things to do than sexing everyone up...
thefairchild03 0
hahaha thats great. get laid!
jaybrown 0
You have got to be really old for them to expire 5 years ago. It takes about 10 years for a condom to expire. 18+10+5 = 33. 33 year old virgin...
mokiwolf 0
...and? My boyfriend was 24 before he got laid, and I was the one who took it from him. It's not hard to go find someone to ****, it really isn't. And for you idiots who apparently can even fail sex ed. Yes, condoms do expire. Rubber and latex that thin only hold up for so long. Just because it's not food doesn't mean it can't expire. It also goes down to the molecular bonds and shit. Why are the stupid people breeding?
Jaywin 3
So I bought condoms a couple of weeks ago and I just checked and they expire in 2012 so condoms last about 3 years. This means you're a 26 year old virgin. Also, you live in the same place you did when you were 18 meaning you probably still live with your parents. 26 year old virgin still living with his parents = Your life is beyond ******.