Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
imajinethat 0
Well, the good news is, you just got ****** by life. :) Congrats.
Animati0n 0
So? It's not a bad thing.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (257)
stephfml 0
hahaha 32--you say sex isn't important because you haven't had it! It's one of the greatest things in the world, especially in a relationship like you are in. I couldn't live without it! OP.....FYL
annahoward 0
dude,condoms do expire. dont use one that's been on your wallet forever, or in any place that gets really hot, like the glove compartment. The condom is more likely to break, and then we all know what happens.
ejvlols 0
kewl
MooseJuice 0
Hey, I give you all the respect in the world. I appreciate your purity even if you don't want to be.
jSOPURE 3
Two things- 1) Don't put the pussy on a pedestal. 2) Your time will come. No need to rush man. :)
doghouse334 0
if your that despserate go to the bar/club and bring one home
walloftext 0
#32, I think OP may be your boyfriend.
blahdsflksfd 0
No sex until marriage. There are more important things in life, IE everything else. Ever feel the feeling you get when winning the state chess championship? Or what about the feeling of creating a video game that thousands or millions of people will play. Or playing classical piano in front of a large audience, listening to the applause after. These are the things people miss out on because they spend their entire lives chasing girls for sex instead of bettering themselves.
SuperSpore 0
At least you aren't a complete sex addict that uses 40 of them everyday, and doesn't use them every time and has every STD known to man. THAT would be an FML.
plexico 4
Lower your standards.