By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 914
You deserved it 48 764

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I agree with the pig comment, but it's also kind of pig-ish to keep someone around till you can find someone better..

ifailplzinsultme 0

Sounds like karma is the only thing that's been screwing you lately.


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I agree with the pig comment, but it's also kind of pig-ish to keep someone around till you can find someone better..

enonymous 8

1 - you're totally right if a guy isn't happy with any part of the relationship just suck it up and stick with not being happy. Not like marriage will be any different

Oh, I'm not trying to give good advice, but if you're just in it for the sex, that's generally what a person would do.

If you aren't trying to give good advice, then what are you doing..? Give bad advice?? Give misleading advice??! You are a bad person.

muchagente 5

wow, these are morals. it's bad ending a relationship because there's something you can't put up with, but it's okay keeping it up so can at least **** someone sometimes... just: wow!

leadman1989 15

How do you know what ENOUGH is? He could have been getting it once a year for all you know, but I love how you have no problem calling him a pig knowing almost nothing of his personality. If this were a woman I doubt your reaction would be the same.

If they're not having enough sex for his liking, then he has a stronger sex drive, and they don't match up that well, it can be harmful to the relationship

If your not happy it's a bad relationship.

1- I agree with the pig part but your logic is ****** up.

Jesus, people. I'm just saying, if what he wanted was sex, why would he leave someone who gave him just that (although not enough) if leaving her meant getting none at all? I think HIS OWN logic is messed up. And I'm also saying, I don't agree with it. leadman1989, it's kind of ****** up to assume that about me. I'm not sexist. I don't know where you got that idea.

MissBunnyWillEat 11

Well, with the time you have from not getting any, you could blow up the expired condoms into balloons and sell them to little kids for money.. Yeah, I'm a glass half full kind of gal.

Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, communication is. My husband just like every man wants sex all the time but before we got married he knew that sex wasn't important to me and he loves me more than sex. That's disgusting that you think sex is important. Trust me kids and marriage dull down the sex...

you are so freaking shallow...just the type of guy girls should avoid...completely

lezzy251 0

that's what you think. but it ain't the truth.

krakadilian 0

Sex os important in a relstionship

LiveLaughFML 10

stop having sex and start making love :)

And you wonder why women complain about men only wanting sex...

I guess all these people saying that sex isn't important must have some boring ass sex lives. Like that one guy said stop having sex and start making love hahha. Sex IS an important part of a relationship and if it aint happening in enough frequency all you get is static.

(Anyone else but chippa shouldn't read this, it's rather long) 1&9- I did not see anywhere in the FML saying anything about OP wanting more sex than was necessary. Most men have sex running through their minds more often than we'd like. Say all OP wants is sex once a month and he'd be fine with just that, but what if his ex would only have sex every two months. Is he still a pig for wanting sex more than his ex had wanted it? I'm sorry but also your argument about him being thoughtless of his partner goes out the window with you saying he should wait to break up until he finds somebody else. The whole point of a relationship is to love that one person and you stay true to them. How can OP do that and find someone else to date at the same time without being a "pig". Your argument confuses me. Also, if anybody reads through this small book I wrote above you deserve a sticker.

a_nutritionist 10

the funny thing is you people complain about guys with active sex drives, but the second you get denied i bet it becomes "what, are you gay?" or some equivalent stupidity. by the way, who says youre such a catch that anyone should need to stay with you? you all clearly dont offer sex, and nothing about your personalities - ie judging the preferences of others requirements in a partner - is overly appealing.

fakeaccountX 6

**** stickers. I want a cookie.

I agree completely. Breaking up with a girl because your not getting enough sex is the most awful thing you could ever do. I hope you never get any for the rest of your pathetic life. YDI pig.

a_nutritionist 10

@156 yeah youre right, its only the females needs that should be satisfied in a relationship. im sorry, as a mere male i forgot my place in the relationship hierarchy..

gameon113 1

136- agreed. People who are cocky and get caught up in their own world where they are studs or some bs can't accept the fact the fact that they have no life and the free time to fantasize about having one.

I don't think breaking up with a girl bc she didn't want to have sex as much as he did is bad, if he at least tried to talk to her about it. If he told her he wanted more sex and she refused him, why should he stay unhappy? It's dumb. He did the right thing by leaving her bc if they have as much sex as he wants, she won't be happy and if they have as much sex as she wants, he won't be happy. Over 6 billion people on the planet, I'm sure they can find more compatible partners.... well, in theory. this guy might just be a loser or really ugly if his condoms expired. I mean... a few YEARS? either he's too choosy or he just doesn't try at all. man up dude and **** a chick already it's not that hard

lionandthelamb61 9

Well of course every one of them, you bought them all at the same time, didn't you?Redundant much?

He was trying to express the point that he hadn't used any.

Good point. Haha but if he used some those woulda expired on an earlier date :-)

You don't need condoms when you've got Rosie Palms and her five sisters.

It adds a punch to the FML. You have to look at things through the mind of a cool voice-over guy.

He was implying he didn't have sex since they broke up.

megapeyt 17

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I hope you never get to find out what it's like. You'll be back here crying about it though, I'm sure.

JPLovesAnimals 4

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cradle6 13

Some of the logic on here is so insane. Anybody who isn't in high school any more realizes that sex is a part of a relationship. I know I'm going to get thumbed down by the huge HS population on FML, and some random girl will be like "well I'm 87 and never had sex cause it's evil and" blah blah blah. Truth is, sex is not the most important part, but it is AN important part of any long term, loving, and healthy relationship. If OP had a drastically different sex drive than his ex, then he made the right choice to end it. They obviously weren't compatible. And that just sucks. Why go through that? When there will be a guy better for her and a girl better for him. People have the mentality that you should avoid a break up at any cost, but you need to meet different kinds of people to find out what you like and what works for you. Especially when you're young. You don't want to marry the first person you ever date because you're taking such a huge chance. Some get lucky, but it's not likely. And not ideal. OP, you're in a dry spell, it happens. You gotta just get out there and you'll find a girl that's right for you. Don't ever feel like you have to stay in an unhappy relationship, especially when a giant group of people who judge you when they know almost nothing about you.

Damn this man cradle speaking truth like a prophet haha. But the the girl above him, who goes on dates with someone cuz you love them? You sound like a creeper because most people who just start to date don't love each other yet most of the time. That grows with time youngn this isn't fairy tale land where loves just comes out of your ass in an instant. It's like a plant that needs to be taken care of and nourished and sex is part of that nourishment.

rarememory 7
babyyninjas 1

That comment was for JPLovesAnimals by the way.

70, you go out with people because you love them? You don't only date someone when you love them. You date someone to see if theres anything there worth loving. It takes a while to actually be in love, not after one date. I dont think that sex is the only thing that matters in a relationship but I think that it is important. For some people sex is a way of expressing their love for someone.

I totally agree :) :D stayin in relationship just because u dont want to break ur gf/bf heart or u r afraid of what people may think AIN'T good reasons to stay in a relationship! Some people stay with their bf/gf just to avoid being alone.... its called LYIN' (to u and to ur gf/bf)

NeCradle6, that was well articulated. Good job! I tried to give you Thumbs Up, but the iPhone UI won't let me.

erikaa916 0

#91, I agree completely with your comment. I'm 20 and have been with my bf for almost 3 years, and I would definitely say that sex is an important part of our relationship. people need to be in a relationship with someone who shares the same desire and need for sex. otherwise it just cause problems and is a huge reason as to why many end up cheating.

Come on you so deserve that. Should have stayed with her.

After dumping her over that he didn't even deserve her...

I agree with you that op deserved it but I don't agree that he should have stayed with her. He obviously wasn't happy. He did the right thing by breaking up with her but he still sounds like an idiot.

ifailplzinsultme 0

Sounds like karma is the only thing that's been screwing you lately.

megapeyt 17

That's one heck of a pun!!! Epic win!!!

That would make an amazing one liner on television.

8-That could possibly be the best ever pun that I've ever heard. Not just on this website.

bigguy123456 2
ibhim 0

Not enough sex? Wow, you deserve to have those condoms expire.

leadman1989 15

Well he has mine, and most other people that know what it takes to make a relationship work.

correct me if I'm wrong but are you saying that sex is what it takes to make a relationship work?

leadman1989 15

Are you telling me someone should stay in a sexually frustrating relation ship? Or maybe he should have cheated right? He did the mature thing. And yes sex is a VERY important part of a relationship.

leadman1989 15

So what should he have done stayed with her? Marry her be unsatisfied for the rest of his life? No he didn't waste her time or his he ended the relationship and now they're both free to find more compatible partners. This is a dark post in FML history I think he deserves to have it reposted and all the idiots not allowed to vote or comment.