Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Well, the good news is, you just got ****** by life. :) Congrats.
Animati0n 0
So? It's not a bad thing.
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Comments (257)
tgm0112 0
Wait a few more years and they'll make a movie out of you. Honestly, all you need to get laid (if that's all you want) is a bit of confidence. It's the greatest aphrodisiac.
alcohol89 0
go to college problem solved.
likeduhhx4 0
well some people want to wait for that speical person, BUT DAMN.
fmyTINA 0
my guess is if you havent had sex ur either a) too picky/shallow b) dont party with the right people c) arent very outgoing try going to a new club or something. ps why would you buy condoms for your 18th birthday? last time i checked you dont have to be 18.
dude2450 2
Dude I lost my virginity @ 15. I regret the my 1st, 3rd, ( she was really fun tho) 4th, 5th, and im now im my 6th who i am in love with. I wish i could have waited till her but i was young dumb and full of cum. I am very lucky that i did not recieve an STD from some of my more questionable hooks ups. Or get any of them pregnant. Trust me when i say wait until you find someone you love random sex is fun, but so are videogames...not as much tho... but having sex with someone you really love is sooo much better. Wait it out little buddy and you will be better for you... But if you ahve been trying constantly and just fial everyday then ya ur Life is ******.....AND ******* MORONS. or course condoms expire are you ppl capable of reading?
q_tipperz 0
save it for marriage.
fueledbyamy 0
dont worry bout it. nothing wrong with being a virgin :)
pchi85 0
damn.. we should chip in for a hooker.
mokiwolf 0
#78, no, you don't to buy them, but in some states you have to be 18 to legally have sex.
The_Frost 0
At least you don't have some crazy kind of STD to worry about.