Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Well, the good news is, you just got ****** by life. :) Congrats.
Animati0n 0
So? It's not a bad thing.
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Comments (257)
awilz 0
i was 20 before i "lost it". boo-*******-hoo. it's not a big deal. i waited until i found someone i loved and trusted enough to engage in sex, and we're still together. age is nothing. i know people way older than you who are still virgins, and it's not like they haven't had the chance, they're just not ready and mature enough.
GlobeNinja 0
well ****, r u like 30?
FFPianoDude 2
#7 LOL
kelbel22 0
for everyone who didnt know condoms expired?...youre dumb. OP-sorry to hear that but hey girls tend to find virgins more attractive and less intimidating, youll find someone within time, just gotta be patient*
silvermoonstar3 3
#7, I liked your post. To the guy who didn't understand that condoms expire or HOW they expire: may you NEVER get laid. They get more likely to break. If there's spermicide, it stops working. The lube does who knows what. To people asking his age, it'd be around 24-25 years old.
genius_man16 1
#25 has it right so does #41 you just fail at life. YDI
GoMeat4103 0
13, you should know that everything expires eventually
premiermois 5
LOL #7 = WINNER! But seriously dude, you're still young. You likely won't die a virgin, your day will come. Paaaaaatience.
BaldOuting 0
you should start getting out there.
emodude44 0
#41 YES I DO THINK THEY WILL MAGICALY FALL INTO MY BED this is honestly kind of a heartbreaker