Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Sekkaichi 12
I'm guessing he wants you out of the picture.
dramaelf 37
Wow. No donuts for him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
theantonlolz 11
Holy shit, man I'm so sorry for you
JJJJJakkkkeee 6
It's sad how many people are unfaithful nowadays. Is it that hard to keep your pants on? I'm sorry, OP. I hope they end up alone.
M3DIC4T3 29
It's more than being able to keep one's pants on. We live in a culture of instant gratification. All people care about are themselves.
imtooshy 18
This takes the neighbourhood watch program to a whole other level. Guess he's dipping more than just his donuts :-( sorry OP
_wraith 15
That's like adding insult to injury. Sorry OP.
perdix 29
I guess it's not just the arm of the law that is long ;)
aardvarkish 16
Good one...
Soninuva 41
OP probably complained to his wife after his second arrest, saying "**** the police," thus prompting his wife's action!!!
soapmactavish82 8
He can lose his badge for that
rebelliousshroom 12
Well, what were you arrested for?
starflyer59 17
getting real tired of seeing this question format.
mvc3ftw 17
Would you like to see the question in another format?
starflyer59 17
there's only so many times you can read the exact same question before you're like wtf. this question is no longer funny. everyone has butchered it. I may get thumbed down now, but I guarantee you now that someone has said it, everyone will suddenly "be sick of this".
lifesucks1217 6
sorry to hear that OP wish they best for you
Axel5238 29
While it sucks you were cheated we don't know why she did, but we can guess if you have a habit of getting arrested yeah that might be part of it.
Scynistr 20
Still doesn't excuse cheating on him though. If it were that big of an issue she should have just divorced him.
Axel5238 29
True, but depending divorce may hard to do. Getting a divorce can cost quite a bit. The OP seems kinda lax about the fact he's been arrested multiple times. At this point the wife probably just gave up on him. It's kind of important what was he arrested for? Unpaid ticket or did he get a dui or something?
fsomelife 26
Maybe I completely misunderstood, but I got the impression that OP never actually did anything and the cop arrested him out of personal interest. Hence all the he-can-get-his-badge-taken-away-for-that, conflict-of-interest and other such comments. If the arrests were justified (which seems unlikely, considering it was the same officer performing the arrest both times), this is a whole different story, though still pretty messed up. If OP is, in fact, innocent, the cop should not have the power he has.
Cheeley 17
Looks like you and your wife both are getting screwed by the law.