Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Sekkaichi 12
I'm guessing he wants you out of the picture.
dramaelf 37
Wow. No donuts for him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
gameover18 17
I guess she likes to be chuffed.
graceinsheepwear 33
it would be nice if you could report that but then his buddy cops would just end up making your life miserable. ******* cops get you in their sights and you are ******.
KingCeltic77 18
If that were me, I'd be charged with assaulting a police officer.
Vinnie500 14
And why haven't you taken his badge number, and reported him to his supervisor??
Louiev82 8
Shoot the s o b for breaking and entering (your wife) then divorce the bitch
kidsgotastinky 11
Lmao karma!
michellet0714 9
Sounds like something from rkellys trapped in the closet series. That really sucks though.
Frenchtony 17
Tug life !
dhenri 9
R. Kelly??
applebramble 22
Go sleep with his wife or girlfriend if he has one .