Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
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Top comments
Sekkaichi 12
I'm guessing he wants you out of the picture.
dramaelf 37
Wow. No donuts for him.
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Comments (89)
khaya 9
Those handcuffs have been used on both of you for very different reasons.
Zebediabolical 43
Where does it say the police officer is in the military?
Zebediabolical 43
She's probably sleeping with him to keep OP from getting arrested more often. Yeah, that's more of a movie plot than real life. FYL, OP
SamanthaNGoree 10
It's bad enough he's screwing your wife.. He has to arrest you too? That's way messed up.
MrAynomous 1
That's some R Kelly trapped in the closet shit right there
worldclassrager 39
Well there isn't much to do about a governmental involvement...since they they already have affairs in this content...pun intended...
iChompYa 18
Now you know why he keeps arresting you
Drayna 2
You know what to do, Benjamin Barker. Change your name and turn his cop ass into a pie.
ChuckNorris2 4
I know this is a deep irony, but call the cops on him.
mkcherry 14
Did your wife meet him because he arrested you or did he arrest you because he was screwing your wife? If its the later you have a good case to sue the city for wrongful arrest (unless you were really doing something illegal). If you got arrested for being a low life multiple times and thats how she met the cop I cant say i really feel sorry for you