Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady who lives next to me. Funnily enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom, who lived with me. FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He told me one of my lights was busted, and I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said, "Thanks, I'll get that fixed right away." then gave me a ticket. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
gurding 15
Did they at least give you directions?
CrookedCook 14
Seems like a blessing in disguise to me.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (57)
gurding 15
Did they at least give you directions?
BradyT918 9
Yes. The location he's looking for, is at the corner of **** off and get a map. (No I'm not telling anyone to **** off, I'm merely making a joke)
AngrySailor 17
"You can't get there from here"
thatkidhesh 11
time to invest in a GPS enabled device
RedPillSucks 33
@35 it definitely does happen. In some rural areas, unless you actually ask for help, people will look at you like you're a dumbass and gather around to watch you fail miserably.
nelroca 7
Well...at least you can get directions now :) Know the feeling of getting lost; with the exception that I haven't had the cops called on me yet hehe
jarrettd 27
People are too damn paranoid nowadays. Everything's always about, " he drove past me 3 times he's definitely stalking me"
CrookedCook 14
Seems like a blessing in disguise to me.
Damian95 16
I was thinkin the exact same thing. Free escort.
hashshim 23
33: What? I want a free escort! Oh, you meant the police...
nightbirdblue 27
#48 You don't like your escorts with hand cuffs?
then000bster 16
Don't worry, you were just lost in one of those freaking mazes where every freaking house is exactly the same.
cmayer 20
You mean suburbia?
varlso 8
seems pretty lucky if you ask me - you could have just asked them for directions
rocker_chick105 31
Men never ask for directions
Smoldering 15
Yes they do just not a often and quickly as women though
rocker_chick105 31
I mean, I thought my joke was clever. Eh, back to the drawing board for me
hessel 13
ask if they give you a ride home with the sirens on
purebliss_fml 19
And ask if you can play with their gun, they love that.
graceinsheepwear 34
Didn't you post that on some other comment involving police also?
purebliss_fml 19
No.
anythingmustbe 18
I would have accelerated pass them screaming **** DA POLICE AHHAHHAHAHA! Then you would pass the house again and the cycle continues.
Mossears133 15
Except the next time you came around you would find yourself at a police roadblock waiting to arrest you.
anythingmustbe 18
The OP Got lost He could not find his way It was certainly not his day He passed one house Quite a bit on this street. A Neighbour noticed and... Called the police.
Crazyjohnb 23
suess was resurrected
helloimclaudia 30
Why are some people so paranoid that if you see a person passing the street or your house multiple times, you have to call the cops.
SlapAndTickle 20
Maybe OP was in a bad part of town. I know if I lived in a shit hole I'd be paranoid too.
BaraSkit07 12
Even if that's true I still find is weird as shit. Okay if he's there for like an hour and not leaving, sure.
rapunzel3416 28
10- there's a house near where I live of a family that is super paranoid. You drive by their house and they are already looking out their windows. If you have your lights off or license plate covered they run out of their house at you with flashlights. So of course young kids mess with them all the time. They're a very creepy family.
OnlyTheDarkest 17
^ Has your local bank been robbed since they moved in?
RedPillSucks 33
Also, in some high priced suburban neighborhoods, people will think you're a burglar casing the place.