Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
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Top comments
Sekkaichi 12
I'm guessing he wants you out of the picture.
dramaelf 37
Wow. No donuts for him.
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Comments (89)
buckdharma 37
Remember when he said "Hands against the wall, feet back and spread um." It worked on her too.
krikoleets 4
Mhmm you would think sleeping with your wife would get you out of being arrested...
dodzin 9
Report him to the special investigation unit. Let them grill him well. Hire an attorney, divorce the bitch and sue the police department. You will be free of your wife, revenged and have some money.
RedGai 7
Walking Dead, alternative universe
Soninuva 41
Wow. Looks like you're not the only one that got ****** by the police!
xblaine 17
How'd ya find out? Was your wife hand cuffed to the bed. I'm sorry OP
MrZsDad 19
It could be worse, the last guy he did this to isn't trying to sleep with you while in prison now is he?
Abominations 7
Da po-po got yo wife. Pudding time.
dizzaymizlizzay 11
Well, that's a ****** up turn of events. I'd love to know how OP found out
MTCoralReefer 10
Murda was the case that they have me...