Caught red handed

By scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States

Spicy
Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 457
You deserved it 3 050

Same thing different taste

Top comments

If it can fit in a lotion bottle, I'm assuming it was too small for you to see too much anyway.

Your skin has been really smooth and silky lately though, right?

Comments

olpally 32

What the ****??? Seriously?? Two lotions for the price of one... Nope... This calls for a shot of vodka or something op... Or a 6 hour stay at the local bar...

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50- I believe they were quoting Doctor Who.

FeroniaMoonscyth 2

How does this relate to the FML???

...Because someone who thinks it's ok to ********** and **** in someone else's stuff has little respect? And if you talk about the Doctor Who part (which I don't watch, so I didn't get the reference), that's how sites like FML works. Not all comments need to be ontopic - although I prefer them to be.

Nobody cares troll. This site isn't about respect. If you want respect, go to Facebook or MySpace.

Furthermore, we aren't here to discuss morals. We're here to laugh at other people's experiences and make jokes to lighten the mood. I think you take yourself a little too seriously. Kick back, laugh a little, and enjoy the front row seat to this comedy called life, starring: stupid people. :D Nice gas mask btw. You'll need it, I had Mexican for dinner last night.

I guess nobody got the pun. Wide-mouth bottle? Wide mouth?? You people are pathetic. And I mean that in the most loving way possible.

LiterOfCola 16
agonydrum 7

I like the way I said it, that's a terrible pun, I'm not even sure it really qualifies as one, probably why nobody got it

Oh dear. Tell him he can keep it. Only if he pays you back of course. Lotion can be fairly pricey these days.

Next time just put some icy hot in your lotion bottle and wait. I'll bet he'll stop after that.

Maybe he would be dumb enough to eat a taco on the toilet like in bob's burgers. Betcha habanero doesn't taste so good anymore!

More like F his life if his penis fits in the bottle.

I'm pretty sure he was just trying to Smooth the rough parts of his dick for future whacking.

"Whacking off" with? I think the correct term here would be "fornicating with" if his whole penis was inside the bottle. Good luck to both of you....you for the lotion, your brother for his pencil dick.

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