Caught red handed

By scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States

Spicy
Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 338
You deserved it 3 027

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If it can fit in a lotion bottle, I'm assuming it was too small for you to see too much anyway.

Your skin has been really smooth and silky lately though, right?

Comments

That is....wow...nasty xD get new lotion and hide it from him

Smooth like a baby's butt…

His balls must be as smooth as eggs

He better reimburse her!

Either her brother has a small john or, she had a big bottle of lotion.

27-you made me cackle

It's better than the Original Poster walking in on her brother using a donut to get off (FML reference). So, OP, look at the bright side, you can find a new expensive lotion and still enjoy donuts!

Your skin has been really smooth and silky lately though, right?

Probably a little sticky to.

"It rubs the lotion on its skin. Wait, what? No! Get your dick out of the bottle!"

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Silence of the Lambs reference. A mediocre one, but recognisable.

Hahaha. Always funny when someone ignorantly calls someone else out on something and ends up being wrong.

He wasn't entirely wrong. The entire quote shouldn't gave been in quotations.

Wow I get the movie reference, the second part isn't in the movie though.

Yes, I was referring to the movie but I wasn't necessarily quoting it. I was more using the quotes as someone talking. Sorry for the confusion there guys, was just supposed to be funny.

Quotation marks aren't just for direct quotes, they could also be used for dialogue, which is obviously what he meant to do.

Get him to buy you a new bottle.

And a new memory to replace the old one.

And a brand new bottle opportunity after he suddenly runs out of the last one.

If it can fit in a lotion bottle, I'm assuming it was too small for you to see too much anyway.

Step 1: Put your Dick in the Bottle...

Okay so maybe he could get it in there thanks to the lotion, but how the hell is he going to get it out?

60- The same way...

60: wait for his Willie to shrivel... if you know what I mean

I'm curious to how old he is. If he's older and small he has a problem, now if he's young and small then well he has time to develop.

Indeed.. that was first thing I thought.... "If its small enough to fit in a lotion bottle... damn.. I feel sorry for him"

But it doesn't say OP's age. A young person will have a tiny Tim instead of a russel the wonder muscle.

I'm assuming he is younger because I'm hoping most older people wouldn't put it in a bottle.

Or even if they tried to it wouldn't fit.

Two words. Pencil dick.

I'm assuming he's really young cause I've never seen a lotion bottle with a big enough hole to fit a penis in otherwise I'd do it too.... But thats just me...

Your profile picture .... (>^(>0.0)>

Your profile picture... -3. Haha sorry, couldn't resist. I REALLY hate the Habs. More than a Leafs fan.

Or get a girlfriend... Warm and wet>>>

Are you sure it was lotion that you'v been using all this time?

That must feel good

I'm thinking there's more than just lotion in that bottle after he's done.

That was the gist of the FML, yes.

That was the jizz of the FML. Yes

He's trying to make you a skin ointment for your butt acne

Hey more lotion for better motion I guess OP.

Um sorry Joker.... The batman is cool though.