Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't masturbating using my lingerie. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother trying to stick his knob into a cola bottle. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off to a breast cancer awareness advert. FML
Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML
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Top comments
s0m3guy2010 21
If it can fit in a lotion bottle, I'm assuming it was too small for you to see too much anyway.
cpucooler 4
Your skin has been really smooth and silky lately though, right?
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Comments (87)
BossPathfinderGM 14
Oil of "A Lay".
spiritfang11237 16
My first thought was, if his dick got caught in the lotion bottle when you walked in on him, that would probably stop him from doing that anymore. Well, at least with your lotion bottles.
kittytub 12
41- I believe it's go; makes more sense. :P
xDMACx12 7
41- *go. You deserve the cyber bitch-slap
JohnnyBravo2 3
Soooo, what you're saying is had he not had his Penis in your expensive bottle of lotion, it wouldn't have bothered you too much to catch him whacking off. Well alrighty then.
spiritfang11237 16
Personally, I would be less disturbed if I had walked in on him jacking off with the lotion rather than viewing him with his knob inside the bottle. Both are bad to walk in on though.
ManInTheMachine 20
Oops. *bends over* Make it quick.
MadMax8706 8
Did he have a picture of u too?
weeabaka 6
That's sick.
daizey 4
Tell him if you're jacking off.. You're doing it wrong
rattusrattus 19
This could be a "separated by a common language" thing, but when you say 'lotion', I assume you mean some form of scented skin softener. Why do people use that for masturbating with? It gets sticky after a while, and do you really want a coconut-scented crotch? Please tell me that people with vaginas use lube though. Otherwise, yeast infections are a-coming!
TheDrifter 24
Coconut scented crotch doesn't sound too bad, and yes, I too would assume he was using her moisturizing skin cream. Shouldn't that stuff rub in with no oily residue like they say in the TV ads though?
tisvana20 6
Correct me if I'm wrong, but most "people with vaginas" don't need to use lube...
Screamokid94 0
that's either a big bottle or your brother is a "shy" guy.