Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't masturbating using my lingerie. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother trying to stick his knob into a cola bottle. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off to a breast cancer awareness advert. FML
Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML
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Top comments
s0m3guy2010 21
If it can fit in a lotion bottle, I'm assuming it was too small for you to see too much anyway.
cpucooler 4
Your skin has been really smooth and silky lately though, right?
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Comments (87)
Argenisjose 9
First a donut now a lotion bottle come on man get a girlfriend
bondgirl69 5
Noors comments kills brain cells
holdenthemonkey 3
He's got a small penis; he should never be able get inside a bottle of lotion unless he's an infant. Infants should not be whacking off. Either way I would make sure any all small holes are filled around the house so you don't walking in on any more awkward moments. Cheers
darkmonster_fml 5
It was so thin it fit in a lotion bottle?!? Wow. Ew.
ILoveZombieBoys 13
You had one job...lolol
trulymickeyj 13
I would've murdered him. U should piss in his cologne or something.
moetsti10 2
Than how small is he??? I asumr hes a kid otherwise it wil never fit
minecraft_fml 4
Don't get expensive lotion. Get the crap with the abrasive micro-bead shit in it.
whitenobody 10
That's just not right.
fatimawazhere 14
Wow your brother must have a small dick if it could fit in a lotion bottle. Yeah i think hes done it many more times before you even saw him that once. His **** is all over your face. I feel bad and thats just nasty af