Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't masturbating using my lingerie. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother trying to stick his knob into a cola bottle. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off to a breast cancer awareness advert. FML
Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML
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Top comments
s0m3guy2010 21
If it can fit in a lotion bottle, I'm assuming it was too small for you to see too much anyway.
cpucooler 4
Your skin has been really smooth and silky lately though, right?
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Comments (87)
loserman67 36
So basically for the last several months you've been rubbing your brother's **** all over your face. Which do you think gave your brother more sexual satisfaction: 1. ******* your bottle of lotion? 2. Knowing that you would rub his cum all over your face? I think that option number two should be more disturbing to you than catching your brother ******* your lotion bottle (By the way, sorry about his needle-dick.) I think several chemical peels are in your not too distant future as you try and erase the image of you soothing his love-offering on your face.
8IamChris8 4
Wash* darn
weeabaka 6
I don't think it matters much, man.
laurenlovesjb 20
I don't know... I think it would have been pretty disturbing either way.
iamzikang 17
That's just wrong on so many levels.
TheOnlyX 11
Damn, Noor is throwing out insults already! Thank God I'm an only child as that wouldn't gown down well for my brother.
NicoleAshley10 0
First of all this is like the second or third sister to catch her brother whacking off on fml. That means they should knock before entering. Second of all her brother penis was inside the bottle. Notes that he has a small one.
originalparamore 0
you haven't noticed the new whitening affect lately ? haaa
olpally 33
Noor, you are on the most nasty comment streak I've ever seen... This month is vomit orgy month now, courtesy of noor the nasty minded ninja... *vomits* you're killing me smalls!! Lol.
bach2121 13
Gross
ManInTheMachine 20
34-Gown? Really? GOWN??? *gone That DESERVES a cyber bitch-slap.