By caughtorangehanded - 01/10/2010 22:12 - United States

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks 20 890
You deserved it 46 311

Same thing different taste

Top comments

well if your masturbating so much, probably no one is seeing your penis anyway


Tikwichka 5

Not for long, Mr Wolfie! OP, now you know to hide your wanky paraphernalia.

op if you have small hands you can tell people snooki gave you a hand job!

KingDingALing 9

Well...I would say that you've been caught red handed but that wouldn't be true, now would it? :D So you've been caught orange handed, OP!! :p

alizzette_nabash 6

this came from a tv series! lies and slander!!!

jaderrrx3 0

you must be blind to not notice the color of the lotion. Orrrrr your lotionwas already orange. but anyway. FYL orange penis dude.

skysaresunny 0

because it was mixed . jeez . read . they didn't say there was more tanning shit than lotion.

Just go to Florida beach, walk up to some random group of chicks and say, "Hey ladies, I have some Florida oranges here. Feel free to give them a squeeze, but watch out, orange juice might come out from the orange tree."

95 - Not necessarily. I've used self tanners that started out as a clear (or white) lotion and gradually reacted with my skin to turn it "tan".


Ydi for not having a girl that gives you hjs,bjs, and has sex with you.

KylaaKatastrophe 0

This is directed towards 112 :) * clears throat* I have to say being naturally tan wins. No dealing with any type of yucky lotion. ;)

KingDingALing 9

83- Unfortunately, I read it after I posted the comment.., :(

why would you ********** with with lotion anyway, you fool! :/

You must be so proud #1. You want a cookie (:::)?

142 - I don't use them anymore, and when I did, it was only once or twice. I don't see why your comment should be directed towards me. I'm also happy with my pale skin.

just put the lotion on ur other hand and tell people ur hands were dry and u thought it was hand cream. dont worrry bout the other part cause no one will prob see that anyway hahaaa

Brannie 4

you're cute :) just saying =] lol

rasellersjr 0

Could be blind... they say it causes that :P

I think the keyword here is "palms" this guy either has tiny hands or an elephant trunk for a penis.

144 - unfortunatelly almost every one does, so suck it up (literally) !


#142...you and I have the same name :) it's very unusual to find someone with my name; HI!!!

144- 99% of the worlds population will admit they **********. 1% of the worlds population are liars. Which are you? =) Now, go read a book. Everyone knows masturbation is healthy.

144 - then u shud help those single men, they will bless u

glitchedgamer 0

Oompa Loompa Doopity dick Here's an idea that might do the trick When you want to go ********** Just leave the lotion alone for god's sake

why would you use lotion that's what your foreskin is for

And you don't think maybe his brother might have seen that t.v series and thought, hey now theres an idea? I love how people seem to think since it's happened before it will never happen again, even if it was just a t.v show or a movie.

I'm older than you by 2 weeks. and nice angel of death

why is there 2100 that he deserved it and only 700 saying it sucks. so what if he deserved it. it still sucks!!

AngryNinja 1

78's right. This is from Rescue Me. Whether or not OP's lying or OP's brother is a copycat is the real question. Either way, funny as hell. :P

KylaaKatastrophe 0

157... Oh. I think you took that the wrong way. I didn't intend to insult your paleness. *Facepalm* Pardon my idiotness. 207... Hello. It is, indeed, unusual to happen upon someone with the name Kyla.. Nice to meet you.

maybe a really dry dick? No precum? Weird. I never need lotion. I put A535 in a buddies vaseline as a prank once though :)

Wait until he's asleep, then rub tanning lotion around his mouth. I guarantee he won't say a damn thing about his joke to anyone after that!

TanyaTwoTits 0

Um, most self-tanning lotion isn't tinted. The color appears a few hours after application.

#48, did you happen to read the OP's fucken username?

well if your masturbating so much, probably no one is seeing your penis anyway

StefanG 0

Or he masturbated once, but it was so furiously that he ended up permanently "Jersey Shore"-ing his dick

glambert1998 0

#30. LMFAO at jersey shoreing

if fml had a like button like Facebook did I would def be hitting that shit :)

92 must not know what the "thumbs up" button means.

It's the one hand's palm that's the fml you idiot.

there's no "thumbs up" button on the app for the itouch/iPhone

thank you, as I use the iPhone I had no idea there was a thumbs up button.. k thanks

amayaa_fml 7

Haha just what I was thinking >:)

hope you dont have a gf or she might mistake you for an oompa loompa

maybe he was trying to ********** until someone devastated his spank session...

#243 i use a iphone too and i see the button?

its not like you get much anyway, OP i mean, you're a frequent masturbator.. with your special lotion and everything

oh gosh.. lucky I never seen one before.

Skiittleez 0

how is he lucky? lol having an orange penis isn't lucky. I feel bad for the guy. haha

2riteluvonherarm 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

ikr !! how would he not notice the difference in color tho? lotion and tan lotion r completely different in colors... haha

actually, ive seen tanning lotion thats white like most other lotions... but it smells completely different than regular lotion lol idk how he didnt notice that

not only that, but it must be rather embarrassing that his brother knows he jacked off recently, with the orange hands as proof. WIN!

**** flavored condoms, tanning lotion is all the rage! yum yum.....

I agree with untoward XD it shouldn't really bother you too much op ;)

Manda_Goes_Rawrr 0

fail. ydi for not having a girlfriend(;

Because every guy that has a girlfriend gets laid....

I have a wife and I flog the log. all guys whack it. if they say they don't , they're liars.

#61 ur fuckingg SEXY! id tap that shit ;)

wow fkin Brit chick go suck on some teabags. you might as well scream your ass off you fkin screamo fag. Nuff said. and btw, you're really ugly

lonesomeXheartbr 0

fyl sucks that your penis is gonna go away in a few weeks