Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't masturbating using my lingerie. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother trying to stick his knob into a cola bottle. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off to a breast cancer awareness advert. FML
Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML
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Top comments
s0m3guy2010 21
If it can fit in a lotion bottle, I'm assuming it was too small for you to see too much anyway.
cpucooler 4
Your skin has been really smooth and silky lately though, right?
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Comments (87)
FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29
I just, don't even.
09Z_fml 4
if youre gona do it you might as well do it right!
YoungLife619 8
Ewwwwwwwwwwww WTF was he thinking
samswartzfager 10
Buy a bottle with a smaller hole problem solved
henryzm 7
Smeat
SaltyLurker 10
I realized for the first time what general age the crowd must be judging by the (surprisingly little) amount of people commenting on the fact that penises does not fit in lotion bottles.
peterblackmer91 12
Wow. Either he has a really small dick or that bottle of lotion has an unusually large opening.