Intimacy: Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room....

By Perpetually F-ed. - 17/01/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 350

You deserved it 9 318

Intimacy

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Busted

By Stacy - 21/03/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 784

You deserved it 121 706

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 422

You deserved it 28 091

Caught red handed

By scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 437

You deserved it 3 046

Why would you say that?

By Rowaelin16 - 23/08/2016 02:50 - United States - Chicago

Today, my family and I finally moved out of our apartment, and into a more accommodating house. However, as we were leaving, my brother leans over and whispers in my ear, "I've masturbated in every room of that apartment, but it was the best in your room." We've lived there for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 995

You deserved it 1 472

Gross

By Anonymous - 02/03/2017 17:00 - Canada - Elora

Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 515

You deserved it 1 592

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 23:01 - United States - Parkersburg

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 681

You deserved it 3 058

By dry spell - 02/07/2013 16:17 - United States - Belfair

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 234

You deserved it 4 790

By thanks mom ¬_¬ - 24/08/2013 22:05 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 693

You deserved it 4 729

W.T.F.

By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 06:00

Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 085

You deserved it 603

Privacy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 22:00 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 875

You deserved it 243

audyy_fml 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 23:35

"a tube of half-used lube".. this is really different than a half-used tube of lube..

AliSama 17

Sunday 22 February 2009 18:56

what is Astroglide? seriously? *google is my friend* Ewww. lol.

Comments

AliSama 17

Sunday 22 February 2009 18:56

what is Astroglide? seriously? *google is my friend* Ewww. lol.

Epoch 0

Friday 20 March 2009 5:01

um. astroglide is GAY sex lube.

jimmyjamesyall 4

Friday 5 August 2011 4:10

I mean, or for hetero normal or anal... but that's cool, too, you shut-in.

fuzzycubby 0

Saturday 12 November 2011 2:24

Dumbass, so what if it's GAY lube. You have a problem with gays?

Sheepiebeepie 26

Tuesday 28 February 2017 20:42

It's just regular lube, homophobe.

mikeloyst 0

Friday 20 March 2009 5:23

number 8, thats probably why hes **** my life. His parents assume he'll be hooking up with girls....if they have no idea hes gay. And to everyone saying how his younger brother and parents are in his dorm? that probably means they are visiting him at college, so he usually does not have to hide his shit.